unrequited love (idea)
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|She's [cute], [smart], [sensitive], and we have a lot in common. I first met her when I was a [grad student], teaching a lab course in biology. She was one of my students.|
Almost a year passed. She was in her last year of undergrad, and I didn't see much of her. In the meantime, I broke up ([anticlimactically]) with my [girlfriend] of three years. A while later, we started hanging out, I can't remember how, but we found out we shared a lot of interests and got along well. I was becoming [smitten]. Then she left, to [pursue] grad studies herself in another city.
Another year passed. I saw her another couple of times, and we [corresponded] and talked regularly. I realized that [she fascinated me] - I thought of her often, and it dawned on me that not only was she intriguing, she was one of the most [wonderful] people I'd ever met.
So I told her. Sitting in her apartment one Sunday night, after a nice dinner and a walk through the darkened streets of [Toronto], I said "I'm your [friend], and I don't want that to ever change, but I have feelings for you that go beyond [friendship]."
It's all true. We are still friends, as close as before. She is still [single] (as am I), still devoted to her pursuit of science above almost everything else. I wish, often, that she would meet some [nice guy], her equal if such a man exists, and [be happy] with him. She deserves it.
I have another reason for this [wish]. It is a [selfish] one. You see, [hope springs eternal|hope can no longer "spring eternal"]. I am sick of this hopeless hope, this [torment]. It must end, and I don't know if I can finish it myself.
Wow, this writeup seems so nauseatingly [navel-gazing] now. It's been a year and a half since I wrote it, and I've since come to suspect that I subconciously but deliberately become attracted to [janet reno|inappropriate women], possibly to ensure that I don't have to follow through with a [relationship]. Or something. Anyway, take this with a grain of salt, it's really just proof that we all have a sad, [insecure] 16 year old inside of us...