You are a nerd. You have no life. You have a computer, a vital accessory to the lifeless. You are me. You are everyone. You click, click, click, and decide to pay a visit to your old friend Everything2. Sleep is pointless, 4 AM is a perfectly fine time. No one else could be online, no one else could match you in your empty semi-existence. You check out Other Users. It's as full as it normally is.

Huh?, says brain. No, I'm supposed to be alone and pathetic!

"Ah, these hot summer days are so relaxing. I can just lie on the couch with some lemonade and read a good book" issues from the Catbox. Your groggy 4AM mind cannot make sense of it...

"Hey stupid", says your common sense (where the hell were you?), "They're called time zones. They come with living on a sphere. Deal with it."

Oh, right. Yeah. You knew that. Your brain gets angry at itself for being ignorant. You get an overwhelming urge to stop doing idiotic things. You never want to think an idiotic thought again. Your new mantra shall become "Quit Bitching And Think!" You will no longer partake in pointless self-deprecation and just plain immature whining. That's why you joined this site, right? To improve life and stuff. Your 4 AM mind goes on this ridiculous train of thought which leads to pipe dreams of curing a somewhat incurable disease, or inventing a new energy source, or coming up with an idea for a genius new sandwich.

Your 5 AM mind semi-wakes up. You've been staring at a horizontal rule for an hour. Time to start blinking again.

The next day you recall your vow. You immediately go to the public library to read up on some obscure topic, anything. No, not that one. No, that one's boring. No, that one would be too hard.

"Hey! Quit Bitching And Think!"

Fine. Eenie meenie miny mo. There. I'm going to go get a sandwich now. Take that, procrastination!

You read. You occasionally take a bite out of your sandwich. Oh, sandwich, so delicious. How I treasure the tang of the mayonnaise, the crisp of the lettuce, the glory of the ham, the cheesy- No!. You scold yourself for letting your mind wander, especially about something so trivial.

This is the drive. The human mind. It's not perfect, it never will be, but it must attain knowledge and somehow spread that knowledge. It is imperative that you do this. It is vital to everything on Earth. It must be done, because. Just because.

Procrastination is the enemy. You make excuses, but they are excuses nonetheless. There is some inexplicable pleasure of doing nothing, of ignoring your mind, but that feeling must exist. If it didn't exist then you couldn't fight it.

Go forth and learn. Quit your bitchin'.

I learn the hard way the way of the gun...