my birthday last monday. People that were supposed to remember - remembered. People that weren't, well they obviously forgot(no suprise there). I got 3 cool things:
  1. A metalic bug ( i work in QA). I glued it in my car. It's cool :D
  2. Winter Hearts.Book 9 of the Wheel of Time series. My little withdrawal is complete, and i have a lot of stuff to do. So i'm waiting a bit on reading this one. Heh. I love ya man. Thanks.
  3. Most suprisingly (in a good way) I got a message from Becca who said that she enjoyed my daylogs. That's definitely made my month.


The whole change of schedule from sleeping in the day awake in the night, back to working during the day sleeping during the night completely kicked me in the balls. I was so bad that at one point in time I took a nap in my chair for about 40 minutes. (it's high backed, ergonomic piece of shit. Hurts my lower back...). Nobody noticed. Blah blah blah...

Two alarming occurances this friday. Girls swearing at me, and calling me immature ( which i dont disagree with). When guys swear at me it's simple. Retaliate with an admision of sexual relations with their mother, father, sibling and or household pets. With girls, it's completely other matter. I can't bring myself to swear at them. Anyhow, they just left me dumbfounded and shaken. I need to grow up.

I think I need to live like i drive. I'm a pretty courteous type of guy on the road. I'll let you in, but i'll cut you off if you're a damn asshole. When I need to get in, I will. I'll break the rules when I see fit too. Why can't i be like that off the road?

Was talking to my friend few days ago. Most of his friends apparently are seeing a shrink for one reason or another. Now, I consider myself a fucked up person of sorts. It's sort of ironic that they with their ""normal"" (married, in school, girlfriend, abortions, car wrecks) lives have to see a shrink whereas i'm really slowly crawling along solving my problems. On the other hand, are my problems there, or am I making them up? I don't know. A friend of mine told me that shrinks do nothing but pump you full of drugs and extort more money. Another friend disagreed. She said that while I repress my emotions and ignore other issues she's getting help. I can see both points..but...shrug..

Fridays seem to be the best days of the week. My friend Boris called me up after work. He suggested that we celebrate our birthdays (his is on April 11). I suggested Daimaru which is a local all you can eat sushi place. It was a setting for a curious event. As I was sitting down at my table i swept the japanese place with a glance. Checking for enemies so to speak. Exactly 2 meters in front at different table was sitting She.....couple of weeks earlier I was at the bank. I had to deposit my check and was completely immersed in thought, not looking around. As I placed the check on the table in front of the clerk a pulled my cell phone out. The girl behind the counter asked me something. I looked up, and saw by far the cutest girl i have seen in months. She asked me what I thought about the cell phone and blah blah blah. Awkward (on my part) conversation insued where i found that she's 19, studying at a local college, to transfer to SFU from which i was recently kicked out. Her name tag was covered by her hair. Since it was strategically placed on her left breast I avoided looking at it too intently. I was too afraid to ask her what her name was (stupiddddddddd!). As my check was deposited, I said my thanks and left. I haven't seen her since, but thought about her a number of times....anyhow I noticed her sitting not far from me, but before you get too excited gentle reader, i didn't do anything. She was with a buncha friends, and I'm totaly intimidated by people. I was looking at her a lot. I noticed her looking at me more then once, which probably means she recognized me. I have a good excuse ready for why i didn't come and talk to her. ...not that i have a crush or even mildy infatuated with her. How can i be? Pure physical attraction. Something to think and fantasize about in my life....

...too long and boring. I'm going to sleep.

**********************************************
Warning
This node is long and boring
and contains author's thoughts.
The author will not be held responsible for
half coherent writing at 5am



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Stuff i also need to write about. Jean. Friends. Zig. School. Girls. Jealous. Memory