(A distraught female bag pipe player is sitting in her studio gazing at a picture of William Wallace and sobbing)
Oh woe is me! How can I ever complete my tribute to my beloved scottish hero, while I live with the guilt of eating this fattening delicous scottish haggis!
(Enter the ghost of Sir Willam Wallace in a puff of red and blue smoke. Amazing grace on the bag pipes is playing in the background)
Worry Not young lass. They can take your beautiful songs, but they can never take...YOUR HAGGIS! (hands over large metal can of sorts)
(Young lass tastes meat product from can)
Is this light tasty treat Haggis Sir Wallace?
(Willam Wallace): Nay, young lass, T'aint haggis. It's 98% fat free!(Dissapears into puff of blue and red smoke, bag pipe music stops)
(Young Lass) I cant belive it's not haggis!