Return to abortion (idea)
|Abortions are not a fun thing to go through. I remember how happy I was, taking
that [pregnancy test] and knowing in my heart, as the two lines appeared, that
I would be a [mother]. I didn't know how I would pull it off, being only 16, but
I would try my best. I went to the doctor and was told that for [health] reasons,
I should have an abortion, and that if I decided not to have one, there was a
good chance I would die.
So, a month later, on [February] 24th, I found myself lying to my mother, waving [goodbye], and walking out of the house to my boyfriend's car that was waiting to take me away to an [abortion clinic] towns and towns away, where no one knew me and no one cared.
I waited for six hours in that [lobby]. I remember walking inside the back room when they called my name and sitting in the chair, letting them take my [blood pressure], [temperature], and then stab my finger with a pin for a sample of [blood] to test. "You're Rh-," she said. "That will cost an extra 50$ for the shot." I sighed and nodded, and went back into the lobby and waited. A little while later, they called me in and performed an [ultrasound], telling me that I was 13 weeks and 4 days [pregnant]. I could still have the easier [vacuum] abortion, they told me. They would lay me down, insert small rods into my [cervix] to open it wide enough, then insert a vacuum tube with a metal end into my [uterus] to clean it out. Had it been 14 weeks, they said, they would have had to perform a more painful abortion with a large pair of [forceps]. I was very glad for not waiting any longer to get this over with.
At the end of the six hours in that lobby, they called me into their office and asked how I would pay. They said that it would cost us $650 for everything, including the [shot] I would need, and the so-called [anesthesia] they would use on me, called [Twilight]. They told me that [Twilight] would not really reduce the pain, but it would numb it a bit, and it would also block my mind from making memories of the [experience]. They took our $650, and warned me that the pain would be like bad cramping. Then they escorted me into the abortion room, and I stripped, and then I laid down on the special table that held your feet up and apart. The nurse was there with me, holding my hand. I felt them give me the shot, and then I felt them put the IV of [Twilight] into my arm, and then everything went hazy. I felt fumbling inside me, dull flashes of pain here and there, that built quickly into huge amounts of sharp, bright pains that made me cry out and bite my lip so hard that it bled and they took my baby.
I was in that room for five minutes, they told me, though it felt like hours. The [Twilight] never blocked the memories of pain, like they said it would. I remember all of it. I felt all of it. I feel badly for anyone who goes through that pain.
Some people argue that abortion is a bad, bad thing, and that it should not be [legal]. There were [Christian] protesters outside the [clinic] when I went, screaming for us not to kill the babies. Yes, there was a chance that I might have lived to have that baby, and then lived afterwards. But I had the [abortion] anyway. Yes, I killed my child, and I did so willingly. I have no [regret]s, and to anyone who thinks I should not have done what I did, I ask them to go through the [sickness] and pains I would have had to [endure] to have that baby, as well as the possible death. I wanted to make sure I'd live, to be healthy and have a healthy baby later.
Let the woman make the choice. It is her body, and I don't care what your beliefs are only hers matter. We, as women, are given the power to create life, and can make the choice to create or not.
For those of you who, for any reason, are pregnant and/or do not want to be/become pregnant and need or want information on [herbal] [contraceptives], [birth control], and [abortions], see these sites: