As an employee of GAP, Inc
, I must say that we deal with people who entertain
themselves with the GAP game quite often. As a member of the stock team, I don't see the participants in the game very often, but when we do, it is open season for all employees.
We actually have a game for people who play The Gap Game, called Let's Dominate The Fucking Customer Game. Once we have established that the members of the game (usually pre-pubescent to middle twenties traveling in large groups not looking for merchandise), we will do everything we can to make sure they are accosted as many times as possible.
This garners much humor for our managers, who coordinate attack plans using their headsets to communicate with the field agents. We are informed of target's coordinates, target's expected coordinates, and target's velocity. Almost immediately upon declaration that we are now in Gap Game mode, we station a sales associate at the front entrance, effectively sealing the victims in. We then will block off the fitting rooms and the bathroom, keeping the targets confined within the main store area. The managers will then position us accordingly to make sure they will not leave their current section without being serviced. The looks of the players faces as they realize that are to be serviced is priceless. From here, every time they move, we will send another associate to check on them, offer them a GapCard, or a style that we think would look good on them. At this juncture, we usually offer them the garbage that no one else wants, like the seersuckers for example. The flustered look makes it well worth the price of admission.
The greatest satisfaction comes however from servicing the customers when they aren't expecting it AT ALL. We will in dire straights sometimes, call out the reserves from the stock room, or in a real emergency, call over people from the Gap Kids store across the hall. Just when they think that they are getting out free, we unleash the hounds on them, and watch their hopes of winning go down the tube.
When you attempt to infiltrate GAP Store 2915 without detection, you will be destroyed. Be gone GAP gamers, before I smite thee.