The one and only time in my life when my father and I have talked about sex was just before I got married. He said,
For the first year of your marriage,
put a quarter in a jar every
time you have sex. Every time you have sex
after your first
anniversary, take out 1 quarter.
I promise you that you will
always have change
for the vending machine.
Then he winked
and gave me that
As I suspected at the time, he wasn't off the mark
What's worse is the absurd overestimation
we made in the size
of the jar we'd need.
(Honey, I joke. I kid! It just makes the write-up
funnier if I pretend our sex life is a bit quiet. Besides, all
that living together in sin siphoned off our
nest egg for deposits during our newlywed year. And while I
often point out to my high school friends that our child is proof
that I've had sex at least once (they still can't believe it),
their rejoinder is that having a small child implies
that we are not having sex now.)