In the odd chance that any of you decide to play a Popeye-and-Friends themed roleplaying game, I hereby present...
The Spinach Rule:
Whatever role Brutus/Bluto may play in any cartoon, the volume of one can's worth of spinach ingested by Popeye always provides just enough power in order to handily defeat him, and will never "wear off" until the job is done.
Since the roles of Popeye and Brutus are malleable between shorts, the power of a can of spinach is likewise variable, in accordance with Albert Einstein's little-known Vegetable Theory of Relativity.
So:
- If Brutus is a brawl-loving sailor, Popeye, upon eating his customary iron-laden leaves, will gain sufficient unarmed combat skill with which to defeat Brutus.
- If Brutus is the leader of a notorious gang of Arabian thieves, Popeye will become just strong enough to transform the lot of his henchmen into a sight gag (such as a mass of bowling pins) before proceeding to thwart Brutus, thwart him right in the nose.
- If Brutus were to be running for President of the United States of America, even if it is voting day and one less than half a majority of the American people have already voted for Brutus, the consuming of spinach would cause incredible power to transmit from Popeye's arms to the arms of all the remaining electorate, ensuring a win for the Eye/Wimpy ticket.
- If Brutus was the all-powerful creator deity of the universe, perhaps hitting on Olive Oyl through the creative application of entropy, and if he were to allow the cataclysmic meal of spinach to take place, then the final sounds heard before the closing curtains of this wrenched thimble theater we call reality are brought down would be the opening bars of the Popeye theme song.
It has never been subjected to experimental verification, but it is theorized that the only possible foil for Popeye's amazing, fate-defying, spinach-powered abilities would be J. Wellington Wimpy's attraction to hamburgers, which is like comparing gravity to the electroweak force.