I am very much ambivalent towards the idea of living in a common interest community. On the one hand there is the negative aspect of separating oneself out from the community at large. This can be a problem in not allowing people to know the group that is separating itself out. And all the misunderstanding and fear associated with that.
On the gripping hand being part of a community is can be a great thing. I have found that because I do not live in the same general area as most of Denver's gays I do not have nearly as many gay friends. Also it is a lot easier to do things with friends if you live within walking distance than it is when you live a 15-minute car ride away. The support is wonderful when you can be near others.
I do think that the extent to which homophobes are able to negatively influence the public is exaggerated. Look at the views of the public on homosexuality in the 1980's as opposed to today. Attitudes are changing for the better, not the worse.
We should not alienate people by crying wolf over a danger that is not there. By all means oppose the many anti-homosexual ideas, but it is countered productive to scream that the community is in mortal danger from being ghettoized. We might as well worry that all those pink pages books will be used as lists to round up homosexuals if the theocrats take over.