Ah yes, The Church. As if there were one large church in the United States. The largest of all the denominations in America is the Roman Catholic Church, not the Episcopal. And even they only have 76 million or 28% of 272 million people. All protestant denominations only have 56%. The largest of the protestant denominations, the Southern Baptists, has 16 million followers.
And they certainly do not present a unified front. There is a range of opinion from Reverend Phelps’s "homosexuality is an abomination" to the Metropolitan Community Church with a largely gay congregation. I am of the opinion that the dislike of homosexuality comes more from culture and religion only reflects the opinion of the public. Look at what the Episcopalians are doing, they are voting on if they should bless gay unions or not.
Another point to consider is what influences the young more, the church or the culture of machismo that stereotypes gays as wimps?
I think it is more accurate to say that Americans in general are either uncomfortable or don't care much about homosexuality. So most states do not recognize same sex marriages, but they still exist. I know several of my friends are married, it just has no legal value unless a bunch of power of attorney forms are filled out and a living trust is created to get around the probate laws. But if they do most of the same rights are avalible.
Is it fair? Heck no. But there are a lot of more important things to worry about. Like making homosexuality legal. Six states (Arkansas, Kansas, Maryland, Missouri, Oklahoma, and Texas) still outlaw homosexual acts and two more (Alabama and Ohio) effectively outlaws them by banning sodomy outside marriage and making asking for sex with another male illegal respectively. And a lot still have anti-sodomy laws. Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Utah, and Virginia. Plus Puerto Rico. That's 20 states and the largest US territory.