Other than the obvious reason of a
boyfriend taking a lot of my time away that use to be spent on
friends, a boyfriend hurts friendships in other ways. It can cause
jealousy. Not jealousy because I have a boyfriend and my friends don't, but jealousy that I may
steal my friend's friends who are boys. I don't know about anyone else, but as far as me and my personality go, having a boyfriend gives me a sort of
security where guys are concerned. I am able to have confidence that someone out there finds me attractive and loveable. I am a
beautiful person, and gosh darn it,
people like me! This gives me a sense of ease around people; especially around guys. Now, don't get me wrong. I have no interest in these other guys. I
love my boyfriend more than anything, and I don't want to change that. But whenever I'm in a group, I feel this need to have everyone like me, and think I'm funny. This usually
backfires and I just look like an ass. Especially to my friends who are girls, especially to my
sister.
My sister has a guy friend, there's nothing going on there, they’re just friends. But every time I get around them I seem to exude my girliness to him, my poor taste in humor, and my - yes, I'll say it - my seductive graces. This is a very bad thing. My security in having a boyfriend backfires on me because I know that all other guys are safe! I can flirt with them, I can bat my eyes, and nothing will come of it. They know I'm safe, I know I'm safe. It's a wonderful balance. But this hurts people's feelings. And no matter what I do, I can't seem to stop. But starting now, I'm really and truly going to try. I will try to be aware of my actions and the effects they have on other people. No more flirting unless it's with my boyfriend (that's the only flirting that counts anyway). So, MC, if you're reading this, I'm sorry.