It was never supposed to be like this. She was supposed to find love like in storybooks, where the hero sees her once and instantly loves her for everything she is. Or maybe it was supposed to be like this and she’s just been naïvely holding on to an implausible dream that no one shattered in fear of shattering her. Not that they coddled her or made her believe the dream was possible, but by not shooting her down immediately they let her have her impossible dream. She let it stew for far too long. It evolved, and took on a life of its own, free of her will, which she couldn’t command anyway. She dreamed up romances with boys she liked, and began creating a boy of her own, in her mind. A culmination of ideas, a dream all her own: a boy who could never exist.
A perfect boy from a good family, he isn’t spoiled or deprived, but has just enough angst to make him dark and angry enough to be sexy. Book smart and street savvy, he dresses cool but comfortably, loves to learn and has ambition to do whatever he dreams. An artist, musician, or scholar, he claims any religion (or lack thereof) she wants him to have, and shares all of the same interests and passions. There comes a situation in which he sees her, finds her incredibly beautiful, and fell in love with her the first time they speak. They share a deep, passionate kiss, then walk off, holding hands, into the sunset.
But it didn’t happen that way. It couldn’t have, things don’t happen that way. Fairy tales don’t exist anymore, and disappointment comes in a cup with cream and sugar. There is still hope for her, however. A boy does love her for everything she is and more. Only time and a few thousand miles stand between them. All she has to do is remember, past lovers have died for less. It can't rain all the time.