are itching like crazy. I only shaved them a little while ago
, and they're already driving me insane
. No, wait, that not right.. the rest of the world
is driving me insane
Whenever I think about school
I get depressed
. Really, really depressed
. When I'm in school
I turn into this self-loathing fake
version of myself who pretends to cope
. It wears me out and I don't know how much longer I have before it starts to ...
starts to ...
. I don't know what's gonna happen. I've never felt like this before. Everything
feels so hopeless
... I wish
I could just quit school
and move to another province
. Start over
I don't want to be here. I want to be --- I want to be left alone.
I don't want people to expect
me to change for them. I don't want them to expect
from me at all. I don't want to be forced
into making a promise
I can't keep... and either way I can't keep this promise
I can't believe I let myself get into this.
If I told anyone what I really thought, I don't even think they'd care.
"Don't be silly", they'd say.
"That's not what you really think", they'd say.
I've never not wanted to do something so much in my life.