Although McDonald's ad agents will claim Grimace is representative of a milkshake, the truth is even more disturbing than a purple milkshake with eyes.

Grimace is, in fact, a visual representation of the artery clog you will develop by eating their food. But, smile kids, the glob of fat that will surely kill your daddy during your dance recital is a jolly purple fellow who sincerely regrets strangling the life out of your beloved patriarch's ticker.

The ad execs originally created Grimace in preparation for this future McDonald's promotion: Free fries if your daddy dies! . . . oh, and quaaludes were involved.