Spendthrift brother's most recent faux "paw"
My brother borrowed a large (think 5 figures) amount of money from me when I was young enough to fall for it. Since then he's been slowly paying me back, but doing plenty of idiotic things with his 6 figure income to insure he won't be able to pay me back in full anytime soon. Case in point: replacing all four tires on a nearly-new automobile because one tire had a scuff on it. Not a dangerous scuff, just a cosmetic flaw. All four tires had to match, according to him, but the one mechanic he checked with didn't have his tire brand in stock. What the hell, why not replace all four perfectly good tires then? We can't be having a minor cosmetic flaw on our sport-u-fucking-tility vehicle. How will we impress the Joneses?
Now what has he done?
A few months ago, he decided to get dog. But not just any dog. A status dog. An over-$1,000 rare breed dog. All the information he can find on the dog says they're very hard to potty-train. Oh, no problem, he'll have the dog housebroken in no time.
So he drops over a grand on the poopy pooch. Then he drops hundreds more on special potty-training equipment and on dozens of little outfits for the dog. Dozens and dozens of freaking outfits for the dog at $19.99 and up.
For a dog.
That poops all over everything.
As of last month, the dog still wasn't potty-trained (Maybe if you let it outside more than once a day it wouldn't crap on the floor? Ya think?). He decides the dog is "no good" and now he's dropped it off at a no-kill animal shelter. He didn't even try to sell the dog and all the outfits to some other sucker!
What an eejit.
Oh, and the dog he replaced it with? From the pound. Free. Already potty-trained. Let's just hope he doesn't screw this up by charging a bunch of stupid outfits for it on his credit card.
Faux paw (hardy har har)