For this they throw a parade?
There was a parade while I was at work. The purpose of the parade was to celebrate that the street out front is going to be dug up to re-lay sewer pipes. Yay! We're laying pipes! Let's throw candy out of a truck! Yay!
So they threw a freakin' parade. A two-minute pointless small town parade with one bucket o' candy for the kids. Here's what the parade consisted of: cop car, fire truck, fire truck, flatbed pickup with a "road closed" barricade set up in the back, dump truck, dump truck, dump truck, dump truck with candy being thrown by the passenger, dump truck, dump truck, dump truck, dump truck, cop car. The end.
Hooo boy. Excitement fucking city right there. And there were some people from out of town in the store when the PARADE OF THE CENTURY™ started. Now they think we're all retarded here.
"Mom, why are all the old people
lined up on the street watching dump trucks drive by?"
"Shhh, don't make eye contact. Let's just get out of here
I wanted to yell "OUTSIDERS!
" just to watch them flee.