I think that the kitten is actually a very small goat.

He will eat practically anything, especially if he sees people eating it. Dairy and meats are a given; he even wants hot sausage. So far, he's also devoured spaghetti sauce, bread, popcorn, apple cinnamon oatmeal, and rice pudding. The only things he hasn't eaten are orange and banana.

Ironically, he won't eat the new brand of kitten food we got him. The other cats won't touch it, either. I should ask for a refund:

Dear Kitten Food Manufacturer: Our kitten savors a wide variety of flavors, from caramel pudding to ranch dressing to taco meat to the other cats' butts. However, he won't touch your kitten chow. We got ripped off. Please give us our money back.

I know that "people food", particularly cheese and milk-based products, are not good for cats. I've been trying very hard to limit his intake, but he makes an amazing pest of himself when we're eating. He tries to get into your lap, tries to climb your leg. He meows piteously, and claws the carpet and door frantically if you shut him out. He acts like he hasn't seen food in weeks and we're starving him. So we inevitably give him tidbits to keep the peace.

He's also an incredible catnip fiend. If he hears one of us opening the jar, he bounds over, meowing insistently. I don't think a cat can seriously OD on 'nip, but by god I think the little guy would try. At least he's tidier than our other 'nip-fiending cat, who will eat a little and them vigorously roll in the rest of it until she's completely covered in leaves, making her look like a dirty cotton ball.

But kittens are great. Who needs cable when you've got a kitten, a jar of catnip, and a feathered bob on a string?


In other news, I set myself on fire. Briefly. You know how candle manufacturers tell you to keep your candle's wick trimmed? There's a reason for that. I was burning an aromatherapy candle in the bathroom, and when I blew it out, the overlong tip broke off, flew up, and landed, still burning, on the sleeve of my bathrobe. I of course didn't realize it had happened until I felt pain and looked down to see that my sleeve was aflame.

Yes, it was a hot time in the bathroom tonight. A regular terrycloth inferno. Far too hot to handle. Smokin'.

But, given my location, plenty of water was nearby. I extinguished myself posthaste, and no serious damage resulted, other than my feeling tremendously foolish afterward.