November 7, 2005 (person)

A kiss on the beach after sunset

I had never had a girlfriend before. I was a high schooler and I was almost alone on this account. I was sixteen and she was seventeen. We had both been part of a group of friends ever since her seventh grade year. We had only really connected once or twice, but we just didn't have time alone together. Before I knew it, I was in eleventh grade and suddenly of interest to the girls in the group. I had gone to the gym, gotten a tan, and a sense of humor. I noticed she started to be openly affectionate around me, hugs in the halls, cuddles during parties, smiles at me from across the room, and so the internal battle began. All guys have this dilemma at some point in their dating history... To ask or not to ask. I decided to ask.

This weekend we went to the movies and saw Wallace And Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit. We sat close to one another, shared straws, and laughed continuously. After the movie she got a ride home with us (my mother and I, because I did not have my driver's license), I saw her to the door and received a goodnight hug. I drove home giddy and laid on my bed just smiling at the ceiling for hours.

Then came the school week. Sitting together at lunch. Talking about next weekend's plans. The week was hard on the entire group and we came to the end of it needing a really good break (N., P. , R., D., K., T., and I made up the "Group." We had come together about six years ago. On the weekends we would go out to movies, Chinese food, prom parties, birthdays, etc... They are a really fun group of kids and I do not think I could get through high school without them). This "break" took place over at my house, because it has a foosball table and a hot tub. We seven teenagers danced in our "den," watched Animal House and sat around talking of everything but school. After the sun went down we decided that the time had come to go over to the beach. The night was surprisingly warm so we did not have to bundle up that heavily as we headed off walking to the beach.

As a skateboarding fiend, I decided that I wanted to play around on my make-shift half pipe under the orange glow of a lone street lamp. The others continued down to the beach, however, she stayed behind to watch me skate. I made a run or two and then came down and said, "Okay, let go join the others." As we reached the rock edge, she made the suggestion that we just sit down on the ledge and leave the others be for a while. And, of course, I willingly obliged. We sat down on the cold stone, she said she was a bit chilly so I took her into my jacket, wrapping my arms gently around her. I started to talk about things that I thought would make her laugh, as I looked out on the horizon. I could, however, tell that was she not really listening to my words. She was looking at me, with longing eyes, intently putting herself closer to me. My heart started beating really quickly, do I try and kiss her? Does she want to be kissed right now? Does she want to be kissed by me?

The kiss itself did not last for more than a second, but it felt like an eternity. I know that statement is a cliché, but it is absolutely true. After our lips parted, there was a deep longing for more, the desire only heated by the memory of the warmth and softness of her lips, and the smell of her hair, I had been captivated I could not let go of that moment, nor would I in a million years. The feeling after I released, looking deep into her eyes to see a similar pleasure to mine, turning back again to the silver and golden skies, and then the complete inability to resist a huge fucking smile. We sat there, talking about how happy we were about our first kiss.

I dedicate this to T., so that our first kisses may last forever.