Sitting in a Bar
on a Saturday night
, two men sit with a pitcher of beer
between them, from all outward appearances the men appear similar, both support a goatee, both are wearing jeans
and a t-shirt
. Both sit engaged in conversation
sipping pints of Dead Guy Ale
. A bit deeper down the similarities remin, both work in the computer industry, although in differet capacities, both like the same films and share similar political and religious views. After a while the topic of conversation moves to relationships and both men reveal themselves to be unique as snowflake
One is currently in a long term relationship, soon to be living with his girlfriend
, and looks forward to marrige and family with optimism. The other has drifted from woman to woman
, never staying with one long enough to have a concrete relationship
, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
The first of these two is me. And enter the analysis
. The primary question being is How does the relationship between our mother and father affect our relationships with women? I came from a home that was (while I was growing up at least) a very loving marrige and family
, my mother and father rarley argued, and if they did it was never in front of my brother and I. they compromised, got along and took care of each other. My associate's parents were an "ideal
marrige" from all outward appearances but I am told that behind closed doors it was another matter entirely. This false face and general hostility witnessed by a younger version of my friend gave him a very distateful view of marrige.
He has vowed never to enter into such a union
, and after the anylisis of the evenening concluded that this vow
was made primarily because of what he witnessed between his mother and father. We also concluded that since my early impressions of marrige were very positive
that this is why I look forward to the evend, and the activities that surround being in a "relationship". To him relationships are a struggle, comprised of strife and deciet. For me they are unions comprised of trust
and understanding. I am sure one cannot discount the affects of the relationships between parents on how one responds to those situations as adult
s. This also raised the question of more modern families where there is often either only one parent
, or a situation where both parents work and a child is raised in day-care. What are the effects on a child
who has no exposure to a strong (or weak) parental example? Both my friend and I were raised (at least through our early years) by stay-at-home-mothers, so we were unable to do nothing more than speculate on those matters.