My last two daylogs contained things that could have/ should have been seperate nodes; why has my fear of rejection reached the point that I'm no longer willing to take risks like that? I made Level 2 in about a month; I have not noded much substantial since them. I turned in a paper late today; it was on Dada and was not meant to be comprehensible. Its for a course i'm dropping; it is bullshit and I worry about my work ethic.
The semester is winding down; my last bit of work is due on Bloomsday. Until then its just me and my James Joyce, who appears in every 3rd node here... if anybody is interested in arranging a quest for Bloomsday please msg me (though i'm contacting people individually).
Every year I gain a new intellectual obsession which I natter on about until everybody is sick of it, then stop. It is often inspired by a class-- two years ago it was Dante, who performed a similar function for Joyce. I often hear the word "Joycean" used as a cultish designator; it makes you part of a worldwide secret club. Its quite scary.
The dominant non-factual/ daylog/ prose mood of E2 seems to be "specific longing". This has infected my daily life, leading to thoughts like this: "She sat next to me on the shuttle bus between UNSW and COFA, sliding into the seat like she was going to cuddle up to me. It was a long time since anyone had sat next to me that way, and as she did not know me I chalked it up to coincidence. I stared at her pink checked backpack, noting the "Free Hemp" sticker on it until, in a burst of inspiration, I complimented her on it. She said it also came in blue; we talked of modding X-Boxes ('Its not piracy if you steal from Microsoft', I said, echoing another E2-style sentiment) and drug influenced writers. She had the same name as the first girl I kissed in Australia and, I suppose, my current crush (two different people). When we left the bus we parted, and later I realized I didn't get any information (the pretext would have been easy enough-- "I'm thinking of getting an X-Box. I'd need somebody to mod it"), but I wasn't thinking like that. At the very least I could have asked her to coffee; now I may never see her again."
Later, playing Chaos Legion in Japanese at a local gaming and manga cafe, I realized that only E2 could convince me it was a tragedy to lose the fruits of such a random meeting.
She had a nice smile. Yesterday, before work, a girl ordered almost the same toppings as me at Subway. This was commented on by the person behind the counter.