There has been much tragedy and confusion here on E2 this week we have all suffered indescribable and untold losses. I have remembered you in my prayers and devotions.

I would like first to express my heartfelt condolences to the many friends of Hermetic. I've read through most of his write ups he sounds like he was a wonderful person caught in a terrible struggle of trying making sense out of his life. I read over and over about how much he loved his friends and my wish for those that helped him will to be able to look back one day and see that you did the best you could; remember his words and how much he understood, accepted and appreciated your love and know that you did indeed help him.

My families' reaction has been one of simply trying to grasp the concept of what has happened. Tucson is very quiet, there is not much traffic and what there is.... well I see people being less hurried and more patient with each other; there is much to be distracted about. Yesterday the malls were closed, all of the ROTC boys that were in uniform were sent home from the University of Arizona, Number One Son said they had classes there but not many came, the students have created a Wall of Expression on campus. Many of the neighbors have put the American flag up in front of their homes, at Number Two Son's High School there was a student led impromptu memorial service held around the flag pole on campus. Last night he wanted to stay home from school and I said that was okay he could decide. He has decided to go to school today. My husband has been quiet, I called him at work and he said there was not much business last night.

My sister called from New Jersey she is safe but she has been crying and feeling very helpless. We both have teen aged boys and were raised in the military during the Vietnam War so we know the possibilities and are very afraid that we may lose our sons...our 'life's work'...and well it is only practical to face this very real possibility. Davis Monthan AFB is eerily quiet as they are on a stand down which means all planes are available and ready for war. My father was an Air Force pilot, as many of you may already know and I would like to share his email to me:

    We are okay and (your sister) has called twice in fact we had the TV off and didn't know what was going on until she called. Say a prayer for all the unfortunate victims of this disaster and what you may call a declaration of war-may justice be served to those B------- that caused this. Love, Dad

I hope for justice too, but realize that there is no real justice in this world and believe there will be both justice and understanding in the next.

Many have called this the 'waking of a sleeping giant' but I have come to think that this is a slap in the face of a crouching tiger. We learned our lessons well in Vietnam, there has been no complacency, the US has been waiting and watching, now there is a reason for America to finally become involved. We have to draw the line with terrorists and the people who harbor them; say enough is enough or it may only get worse as they try to out do each last act.

With profound irony I have heard many say 'Americans will scream out for blood'..... yet I see them line up to give more. Yes I am quiet with enduring anger. Standing behind our country's leaders, I have put a candle in my kitchen window as a light for freedom and to remember that all of these people will go on as long as I remember them. Their deaths must come to serve a purpose and my fervent hope is that the world leaders will act wisely and act well.

I recall for you a very difficult time I was going though and cried on sensei's shoulder in despair. He said to me :

    Lometa life is good, but sometimes not nice.

I have been trying to find a place to put them here in the database; words that say he is still here among us in the humanity of many spirits. They are put here in the middle of all this confusion in hopes that you will find them; and some understanding, some healing.

There are many difficult days ahead and I encourage you to reach down inside of yourself to that person you trust and feel safe, holds hands, make food,'feed everything everything,' be patient with yourselves, be gentle with yourselves. Know that whatever you've said, thought, written, have been able or unable to say, think, or write is normal, that sometimes no words are okay too. Know that we all are trying to understand. Have hope that the world will emerge a stronger and wiser place.

*a moment of silence to remember*