Oh, I wasn't going to write a
day log today, not at least
off-the-work...
But I had a very good day indeed regardless of
muscle stitches. See, we had the quadrotlon of
department. I was fourth in overall results. Events, my results and positions were as follows:
- Javelin throw -- 37.50 -- 2.
- 100m -- 13.21 -- 8.
- Shotput -- 10.07 -- 9.
- Long jump -- 5.25 -- 2.
Well, enough that, seems like I took the
sideline..
Yes, the happiness. I saw HA today for the first time since last summer. We met in a shop and discussed about half hour or so. Maybe one short extract from our discussion describes my feelings about her relatively well:
She works at Lutheran confirmation camps (I'll write a separate node on the camps later..) even though she claimed not to be a believer, at least not in the way the church teaches. The last camp she attended was near Turku which is close to where I was grown up. She said: "I've been remembering you.. (A break which is very characteristic for her. It's not a deliberate break but she just speaks quite slowly.) .. because kids on the camp talked in the very same way as you did."
What an ending! The break, lasting less than second and half, was such a pleasure! It's amazing -- a second like this makes your life worth of living. Once again my theory on the low-intensive usage of time was proved. Of course, I made these kind of reasoning much later, mostly I'm doing it at the moment.. You don't need money to be happy and making money prevents you having moments like this one.
Fair enough, I came down from my pink clouds quite fast but it was still a nice landing: I didn't come crumbling down.
HA was a girl whom I had, hmm let's say, a silly and very innocent affair with. This happened over a year ago and we are still very good friends. Really, all of my experiences disprove everything what's said on "Let's be just friends..."
That's that and actually I started the day log because I had an idea while running. -- I use quite often to have just one concept in my mind while
running and I use to dwell on it. I've found it quite hard to think very fast while running but it allows me to examine the different (introductory) sides of the issue. -- It's about my dreams and because this idea links to relatively many of my
dream logs and at least one day log I considered it better to write a day log today as well. I think I can justify the day log with its
mindmap-like nature.
The dreams. I've seen many dreams relating to ice hockey lately. I played it two years when I was about 12 yo and I guess I had to suck because I scored only once even though I was a left wing. Sometimes the coaches didn't allow me to play at all. That's why I quit.
But I knew all the players of my age still at the high school. We were not very good friends but there wasn't any trouble with them until the second grade. It was one recess when we were sitting in the room with radio with my classmates. There were some ice hockey players near outside the room. We turned AM channels and in Finland you basically hear nothing but creepy voices from these channels. It was the case at this time as well but when we left I turned the volume up. Some of the ice hockey players were (unfairly) quite pissed with this.
Later on, we had the end of the school parties on the beach. One of the ice hockey players who was pissed by loud volume came to me and he was looking for a fight. He was badly drunk and he told me being a gay. I had to be because I had a long hair, Kurt Cobain -style. I kept calm and I was able to get out of it. I've never fought but this time was probably the closest so far.
And now, back to dreams. I don't believe in dreams but the interpretation I made up while running sounds very cool. Because all of these described above ice hockey and players have to represent my enemies and/or fears. While I've been dreaming about the game I've mastered the game, like: Dream Log: July 9, 2001 and Dream Log: May 30, 2001. However, don't ask what does Dream Log: June 4, 2001 mean...
This cannot mean nothing but that I've overcome many of my fears. There's one day log somewhatta linked to my conquering of fears. I've gained some self-confidence. Probably I'm a bit less introvert nowadays as well. Reading back my Document (sort of pseudo-diary) I gotta be much happier person now. Everything is much better now. I have got some dreams that can be fulfilled in the near future -- usually I tend to have only megalomanic dreams or bit pessimistic scenarios about how to live my life. I feeling pretty okay! Maybe dreams really are just reflections of reality...
Finally, I sort of promised to write nodes on theories by
Karl Marx, mainly on
political economy. As I said to
Roninspoon I'm not a
marxist but I think I know the theories relatively well. At least there are many confusions between
stalinist abuses of Marx and Marx himself. I'm not going to attempt
clarify the name of Marx or something like that because
Marx was wrong many times for his theories were based on mistakes made already by
Adam Smith and
David Ricardo. I just hope people could easily refer to these nodes when needed and find them useful..