Were you ever good at something as a kid? I mean really good, the best in your class, or even your whole school, something you excelled at. As you grew up did you spend less and less time doing what it was you were so good at, until you got to the point where you were absolutely crap at it. I did, and now I'm pissed!

I used to be the badminton King. I started playing with a group of old ladies (my mums friends) when I was about 11 up at the church hall, they weren't the hottest competition, but by the time I was about 14 there were whispers that I was County Standard i.e. I was pretty damn good. The old lady club eventually disbanded, and I joined another club. This club was further away and full of kids who enjoyed complaining to the coach that I hit the shuttlecock at their faces, I only did it a couple of times! Anyway, I didn't really fit in there, and stopped attending after a few weeks.

I once played badminton at Secondary School at about the age of 15, and still had my magical skills. I kicked the ass of everyone who challenged me in that one hour PE lesson. You have to understand I was crap at every other sport or activity I ever did, getting 2 for attainment and 3 for effort consistently on my PE reports, so beating the usual jocks was rather satisfying.

The last time I played badminton was on holiday at about the age of 18. I played doubles with my mum against another pair, and we were doing okay, up until the point I needed to serve for the match. For some reason my wrist action seized up on my underhand shots. I began to think about how I was hitting the shuttlecock, and the more I thought about it and tried to correct it the worse it got, and the match was lost. Since then, whenever I've played any racquet sport my wrist action just doesn't work, and I don't know why, it's just incredibly frustrating.

I know that if I had continued to play badminton week in week out I could be playing and winning national competitions by now. Why didn't my parents encourage me to keep playing, why didn't they spur me on, goddam them. I was crap at everything else at that point in my life, badminton was all I was good at.

Everybody wants to be good at something I think, however obscure it is. When I start something new I immediately want to be the best. I want to learn Kung Fu, and end up winning competitions at it, I want to start rock climbing and be the best goddam rock climber there is. Maybe so I can have a mental CV (Resume) in my head, so I can think to myself, right I'm good at that, and that and that, so I feel I have some self worth. Don't doctor’s say to depressed people, make a list of what you're good at? I don't know, maybe I just dreamed it.

Reminds me of that TV clip of Tiger Woods swinging a club at the age of 3 or something stupid, and look where he is now! It's not just a matter of natural talent, he started doing something as a kid, worked at it constantly and 'fulfilled his true potential'. When I have a kid I'm going to start them doing something at the age of 3, then rake it in when they end up making millions. I guess the moral of the node is, ermmm, keep doing what you're good at (in case you hadn't worked it out already). Goddamit! I could be holding an Olympic Gold medal by now!