I dream that Ozzy Osbourne is sitting on the pink loveseat in my living room and berating me. This is odd for two reasons: one is that he is dressed in his 80’s finery- his hair permed and frosted, heavy eyeliner and spandex pants. The second reason this strikes me as odd is because I am convinced that he is some sort of an apparition and is not actually speaking to me, but someone else in some other place. This second impression is shattered when he addresses me directly and says “Yeah, you in the black! What is this shite coming out of your fucking stereo?” He is obviously drunk, and I momentarily feel bad for him and consider offering him my condolences on the loss of Randy Rhodes, but think better of it when I realize that Ozzy appears to be wearing the same pants that Rhodes was wearing in the VH1 Behind the Music. At this point I can no longer convince my self that he is making fun of someone else…Ozzy Osbourne thinks my taste in music is crap. I sigh and begin trying to explain to him the new types of music, and why they are valuable- which is disturbing because the music I am defending isn’t anything that I listen to or like. He roundly dismisses all of my explanations and my alarm goes off.
In this dream Ozzy appears as he does now on The Osbournes, and the rest of his family is present as well. I am in an airport and see someone struggling with a piece of luggage- I go to help and when the man begins to thank me for my help I study him closely, attempting to understand his garbled speech that may or may not be peppered with expletives. It is not until Sharon Osbourne approaches us and thanks me for helping him that I realize that it is Ozzy. Again, though I cannot understand a word he says to me, he appears pleased, and Sharon, noticing this offers me plane fare so that I can visit him at their next destination and keep him company. I agree, and Ozzy and I end up going to the beach and getting ice cream cones together while we have long involved discussion on the trials of life- I think we do anyway, becase I am never able to understand anything he says to me. But this experience is nonetheless comforting. Ozzy fumbles with his ice cream,(one scoop of vanilla on a sugar cone) drops it, and my alarm goes off.