Kevin came over today, and wanted Dan and I to go to dinner with him, Brandi, and Brandi's mom, and then to see a movie with him and Brandi afterward. We agreed, and went to have Chinese with the three of them. Dinner was interesting, rather like having dinner with my mom. The boys had their fork-vs-chopstick battles, Brandi threatened Dan's life if he hurt Kevin at all, and I tried to get them to settle down enough that the rest of the restaurant would quit looking at us so openly... *grins* But, it was fun.

Then we went over to the mall and sat at a table, quietly feeling sick for a few minutes. (The restaurant we'd gone to invariably makes me ill after I eat there.) Dan and I looked around Electronics Boutique for a bit, then I wandered into Walden Books, like usual. As the mall was closing, we sat around an talked for a bit. (The movie didn't start until 10pm, and the mall closed at 9pm.) Dan and I were talking about my going away to college, and the fact that I'm not entirely certain that I will be able to make myself go. At present, the thought of leaving and being so far from Dan is enough to send me into hysterics. Literally. Ex: A few nights ago while I was at work, Dan came to visit and we were cuddling. A line from Edward Bear's song "Close Your Eyes" came on, and Dan pulled me tight against him and whispered "I think I'm going to be saying that a lot once you leave. 'Close your eyes, I'm right beside you.'" My reaction? Immediate tears. I didn't even have time to think. They just started falling before I could even think to try and stop them. Given that reaction from one comment about my being gone, what type of shape will I be in to actually do any learning once I really am 550 miles away?

Anyhow, I calmed myself down slightly, and Kevin started petting my hair and making soothing sounds at me to help me calm down more. I stood up and hugged Kevin tightly, "I don't know if I can leave him." This started some fresh tears (though not hysterical ones this time.) Kevin responded by petting me more and telling me that if Dan comes to live with him, that they'll come visit me in Chicago every chance they get, and that we can both have digital cameras so we can talk and see each other. I just nodded, knowing that the issue wouldn't be resolved for awhile, and besides, "A.I." was going to start shortly.