Well today I discovered what a gullible fool I am. Today as I was chatting, I was talking to a new acquaintance of mine. She let it slip that she was using me to relieve herself of boredom. Well I laugh at this, because I was bored out of my mind as well. Well as I mention that this was my first time “being used”, to my best friend, she says, that actually she used me first. Well I could not divulge how she used me, I did find out that it was during the period that she liked Harry Potter, and that I got her the books, as Christmas presents. Immediately she apologized, and since I always try my best to forgive and forget, I immediately did.
After going offline, and thinking what just happened over and over, I became very enraged at her. It was an emotion where you don’t let out anything, but stays within you. I believe I became far too calm about this too quickly. I am still letting this anger seethe inside of me, but I am writing this node to let it out. I remember that she told me that she used all guys that liked her. Yes I did have a crush on her, but not any more, she is just my platonic best friend. My mind, did not take it kindly knowing that it was used by her. My respect for her now was at an all time low.
Now I feel terrible for feeling this way. I have never in my life ever been so caustic about anything. I find myself wondering if that she is now using me to see Star Wars Episode 2, or actually to see the movie with me. Is this feeling good for me, because I don’t think so, and I know I should harbor no ill will towards her, for doing what she always has done with any guy that liked her. I cannot expect people to follow my morals no matter what, because other people’s morals are completely different. I know that by tomorrow morning, I will have forgiven her, and forget this incident ever happened. The only thing that I will happen after this is that I shall now become more wary of all women now, even though I know most do not deserve my wariness.