By the numbers:
Weeks I have been pregnant: 28 (from LMP)
Weeks I have known I am pregnant: 24
Weeks of normal human gestation: ~40 (Give or take two weeks. First pregnancies tend to be slightly longer.)
Possible fathers: 2
Possible fathers who can fuck right off: also 2
Cigarettes smoked since finding out about the seamonkey: 1
Units of alcohol consumed since finding out: 0
Ounces of marijuana smoked since finding out: less than 1/8
Weight one year ago: 245lb
Healthy weight range for a woman 5'8.5" tall: 124-166lb
Goal weight: 145lb
Pre-pregnancy weight: 220lb
Current weight: 228lb
Expected pregnancy weight gain for a woman with a BMI of 33: 15lb
Fetal heart rate the first time I heard it: 170bpm
Fetal heart rate at last prenatal visit: 138bpm
Times I have bought pickles since becoming pregnant: 6
Times I have bought ice cream since becoming pregnant: 10
Times I have bought pickles and ice cream in the same grocery purchase: 2
Times I have needed assistance standing up after sitting on the floor: 3 (this week)
Times I have realized how unprepared I am: 73 million (today)