The party last night was nice. Would be better if deehablita dropped by because I find her cool after her fisting writeup.

Dead was trying to convince me that I (just like other men out there) were made to put our dicks into things. I get his main idea, but the idea of me getting laid is very hard to see nowadays... Besides, I don't want to use my wang, I want to use my tongue first if I ever get laid.

I had my first alcoholic drink last night. Wickernipple fixed me up a mix of orange juice, a bit of vodka, and some orange liqueur in a tall glass. I tasted of cough syrup, but I'm fine as long as I don't drink too much. Wickernipple fixed up a cup of that stuff and I finished it, but I was so winded I puked it in the kitchen sink. I did it quick, and clean.

Yossarian was generous enough to give me money to take a cab home. I can take the subway back to the home office, but I don't want to walk home from the subway station to the cemetery to get back.