My daylog or "E2 personal critical mass"

First let me say this isn't one of my well loved, "Rants" - so you may wish to pass this by unless you really enjoy E2 and have some time on your hands to read my personal reflections on it.

I don't know why, but I've always really liked the term "Critical Mass" and this week I've hit that here at E2.

When I first joined this site, I felt it was mind boggling. It took me over 3 weeks just to understand it enough to register. I could literally write a book, or two on this site and all that it entails. But as each day and each week went by I learned more and understood more of all the little quirks of this living entity.

All the politics - which are more obvious than some 'up above' may realize. All the little games played, and goals made here. The way the "nodegel" lives and breathes and grows. All the hopes, and frustration of us newbies.

There is so much involved here at E2 - that it'd be impossible I believe to 'explain it' but I have to wonder when most hit this 'critical mass' point in their growth process at E2. Where it all begins to come clear, and make sense. I have to assume it's not easy to explain or it would have been explained by someone by now, so I won't even TRY to explain it, but will assume anyone who's 'been there, done that' and been at this point can relate.

I've been here 3 1/2 months according to the stats. But I have no doubt that's equivilant to 90% of the users here's 6 months, or year. At least I doubt anyone else would admit to spending the amounts of time that I have here. (thinking of the 30+ hours I've spent just tweaking my homenode ). Back when I was (literally) addicted to the library I read, at times, 3 full books a night, and I don't 'speed read' so me spending 8 hours here, would be the same as some spending 24. My point? Well basically... I don't know each persons time frame for reaching 'critical mass' - where E2 as a whole stops being a 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzle and instead paints a picture. But I'd have to guess it'd be somewhere between 5 and 12 months.

Over the past few days as I reached this critical mass, I have to wonder if it's just the beginning. Like imagine your an ant, and the entire world is your ant hill, suddenly you leave the ant hill - and venture out into the 'world' - the world to you then would be that square MILE around you. You have explored that entire square mile - and realize you see the whole 'world'... and then some other pesky ant tells you - you've just hit the tip of the iceberg - that the world is almost 5 miles square!!

So this is where I'm at today. I feel I have a vast understanding of the E2 - one I'd like to explain but I don't donate enough to E2 to use there bandwithd for a "Whit Book" - and now just wonder, if a year from now I'll look back and think how 'quaint' it was that I thought I understood E2 back in the spring of '03.

Perhaps a year from now - when I've 'paid my dues' - or as the regs here call it 'earned your bullshit' I'll try to paint the overall picture of E2 from a newbies standpoint (I will *always* be a newbie here).

For those still reading, I hope I didn't waste your time and you enjoyed this node for one reason or another.
Most my time these days concerns the loss of so many in the war, and the joy of the Iraqi's I see. I don't know how much our media is not telling us... I can only hope we (and I watched 24/7 till DB died) are seeing enough to have reached a "critical mass" in understanding what's really happening over there.

I was not in support of us (the USA) going to war in Iraq, but when I think of the 5,000 Iraqi people killed with little more than a thought (till the US needed justification for this current war) I have to think of the fact that - that is a few thousand MORE than we lost when the towers fell. We are witnessing first hand how little the Iraqi people really know about what's going on in the world around them. I wonder how much we really don't know yet... there's the possiblity that we've just seen the tip of the iceberg on this. I think of the statement "Lest we forget".

My hope today is we all learn enough to feel the 'ends justifes the means' - that's my pipe dream anyhow. I once said the only thing that'd change my mind on this war being 'ok' is that all countries with "WMD"'s also have to disarm, the worst offender, the USA, included. But after being spoon fed day after day, a certain view of this war, I'm waivering. I have to hope for the sake of those who lost loved ones, that history will show their sacrifices meant something very important.

Thinking of the familes of the US, and UK Hero's lost in Iraq the past month. May your loved one Rest In Peace.

And my thoughts go out to the Iraqi citizens who lost loved ones. I can only hope there is enough change that you will not look at their loss, as tragic as it is, as meaningless. As I watch the "information minister" tell you that there are no troops in Baghdad while they surround him, I have these thoughts, that maybe there's so many unimaginable horrible things you, and we don't know, that will make your sacrifice and loss mean so much more. This is my hope, and hopefully not just my pipe dream. May they Rest in Peace, I'm truly sorry for your loss and many of us US citizens will not forget them.