I attended my friends funeral only two days ago. I saw his body and was absolutely devastated at death's power to turn a human into an object. It wasn't Chris. His power to animate himself had been removed. I never really saw life till I was forced to see the absence of it. I was so sad at our tenuous grasp on death. All the flowers and the ceremony and, the idea, that we actually kept the body for some time seemed, oddly, absurd to me. I could feel our inability as humans to really understand death. I could actually feel our struggle to make sense of it. I cried so much that I really don't think I'll ever cry for anything again. I cried at everything. I could not put into this node all the thoughts that rushed my mind and caused me to cry but I learned so much that day. Only two days ago I was a completely different person and now I am new. There are so many new questions in my life and it actually makes me happy. I know I'm going to grow from all of this and really deep inside I can feel Chris guiding my spirit toward a new day. I understand your lesson, Chris, and I will work every day to live with a renewed passion. I will respect the things I have and understand that they can be taken away at any moment. I love you so much, Chris. I miss you more than I ever thought I could miss someone. I will see you again.