I am Kelur Lijoh, the Eirpul of Pana*
"In a related item, I noticed that irc.psychic.com has one of those written-by-nobody w/us in it." - LordBrawl, Editor Log: September 20, 2000. Deep, huh?
"There's things not to like, so I don't think that not liking it is the same as being an evil person. The pace of play - sturdy machines that move slowly - is a million miles away from the modern "instant action" ideal, where ferrets on methamphetamines zip through space dungeons for one-shot kills." - Tycho Brahe, Penny Arcade. He is in touch with my soul - I could be thinking this at any one moment, and he manages to WRITE IT DOWN and publish it for the world to read!
I would like to think that I assisted in some small way with my two amazing mentees - dRiVeN and Thematic Stagnation. Keep at it guys!
I want postcards!
Send them to:
PO Box 601
New South Wales 2216
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(Lists generated Sun Aug 20 23:22:26 2006 GMT, as of so far writeup, by the Homenode List Generator. Goodness is the percentage of votes that are upvotes.)
7 Most Voted-Upon Writeups
February 14, 2001 1
March 12, 2001 (tied) 2
1C! March 6, 2001 (tied) 2
1C! Do not, under any circumstances, touch this button 4
February 12, 2001 5
1C! deep fried Mars bar (tied) 6
Obsessive compulsive disorder (tied) 6
7 Least Voted-Upon Writeups
1 Stone and Sky
2 (tied) infinite wall
2 (tied) media converter
2 (tied) Toyota Rav 4
2 (tied) AAVID
2 (tied) intoxication
7 (tied) DDS
7 (tied) CPQRG: Routers and Access Products: 700 Series
7 (tied) Sord
7 (tied) better half
7 Highest Goodness Writeups
4C! Lunar standstill (tied) 1
2C! Krugerrand (tied) 1
1C! tzatziki (tied) 1
1C! Cafe Hernandez (tied) 1
1C! video poker machines (tied) 1
Palisade Hotel (tied) 1
General Practitioner (tied) 1
1C! Spinach and zucchini frittata (tied) 1
1C! TACACS+ (tied) 1
pinning (tied) 1
Elle MacPherson (tied) 1
1C! taramosalata (tied) 1
Harvey Norman (tied) 1
Kate Fischer (tied) 1
Invisible Stalker (tied) 1
1C! HSRP (tied) 1
1C! CDP (tied) 1
ST-ST Fibre Optic Cable (tied) 1
SC-SC fiber optic cable (tied) 1
Paddy's Market (tied) 1
DDS (tied) 1
Sord (tied) 1
media converter (tied) 1
AAVID (tied) 1
intoxication (tied) 1
Toyota Rav 4 (tied) 1
Stone and Sky (tied) 1
7 Lowest Goodness Writeups
1 Sacrificial Pit
2 (tied) unforgotten ex
2 (tied) envigilator 1C!
2 (tied) infinite wall
5 Temple of the Damned
6 (tied) Halls of the Dead
6 (tied) Haunted Gold Mine
6 (tied) typecasting actors
6 (tied) CPQRG: IP Telephony Products
7 Most Reputable Writeups
2C! Palisade Restaurant 1
1C! deep fried Mars bar 2
1C! Do not, under any circumstances, touch this button 3
February 14, 2001 4
March 12, 2001 (tied) 5
1C! March 6, 2001 (tied) 5
1C! March 13, 2001 (tied) 7
1C! Pop (tied) 7
7 Least Reputable Writeups
1 Sacrificial Pit
2 (tied) crypt
2 (tied) unforgotten ex
4 (tied) graveyard
4 (tied) boneyard
4 (tied) Halls of the Dead
4 (tied) Haunted Gold Mine
4 (tied) Temple of the Damned
4 (tied) envigilator 1C!
No softlinks. No hardlinks. More true than many, many nodes out there.
disoriented fiction: Soiled
(idea) by StaringClown (58.4 min) (print) + - C? Tue Sep 07 2004 at 8:45:28
It never occured to me that writing a fictituous piece without strict adhering to syntactic and semantic rules could be fun! Truthfully, I tried to capture each fluttering thought, er, let's see some responses. (Note: this wasn't meant to confuse, nor eat up brain activity - it simply lacks) Soiled Adhering to conjecture, choosing to nonsensify circumstance, roads lead, attached to signs not unknowingly. Barracks immobilized. Out of place but one. The this and that. Unwilling to identify, their base of reference sprouts out of jargon charismatic chaos. Bumps on the wall, inflation, deflation, relative in one dimension but not another, don't ask the question. Grammar suggests. Biodegradable if it seems ...what? Mahogany outlines, marking the `making sure' aspect of the individual collective. Spurting a layout, ashtrays contain foulness - rounded by the squareness that it lacks. No parsing, no computing, just the unjustness. Gleams in patterns that are perpendicular to what wasn't said before. A game of foolish integrity, assortment of statements that only un-mean. Addition to what Riemann wrote, what posed very difficult to the like of the likes. Symbolic symbolry stuck in the insides of colorless fish, undramatically exposed to the he's and she's and it's of ecological systems functioning in neither spatial nor theory-based algorithms. Pencil possessors, shrapnel makers, on the bottom left section, third row down, fifth righting, an F stands. Non-hollow concomitant with hollowlessness. A grimmer rainbow, suddenly I switch to first, but once again those who are undertaken by being third. Met with a king, String of Strings, awed by redundant excitability. Structurally, recent findings directly speaking not. Spinning, high centrifugal monotony, bequeathed by petrified butterflies who do not seek. Rough, smooth, categorically grandiose, leaving a hierarchy of non-systems dwelling in sheltering caskets, designed by neuron fibers, the suproc coligops. Derived, blended, machine twisted, not breaking by brute choice of unmatched configurations that heap dancing abyss's. Adopting writing, a child governed by the pill. Seas of musical undertone lash out vengefully, forgiving levitating milliseconds that are easily incapable. Gargantuan trees, noble residents of intertwined mineshafts, rest on the rest. Hovering flagella engineering the unbroken remnants of lost hypocrites, it stays concealed for those with curtained retinas. Deceitful chairs disguised in false uttering, white crows gnawing without knowing, fearful of the mightiest fill-in-the-blanks that brown fertilizers create. Streams of cream and coconut seeds, the demolition is subject to delay. Howl learning, taught by fruitful insights, covers what most overwhelm. Last assortment of clear display, swims, not far but, further yet. Longevity meant a lot to the terrible turtles that sucked dates. Plastic inscriptions of late-night martyrdom, speculating rigid figures, carrying character, using wagon-whipping horses to surmount the claymation modeling of their unsung predecessors. Syntax abhorred many, Semantics strives, altering the alternations, the chains broke by the choosing.
Strange, haven't we met before?
(idea) by bindy (1.5 min) (print) Tue Jun 29 2004 at 14:09:28
Strange...haven't we met before? I know that brown flicker on your blue eye, the smell of your skin in the morning, the inflection of that rasp that creeps into your breath when you're sleeping. Maybe we haven't. Maybe you just remind me of someone. The way your eye tooth juts out from your unassuming smile is so familiar that I could have been your dentist. I'll tiptoe around you, checking you over for signs of life, for footprints on your heart. The way you run your tounge over your lips when you're thinking, forces me to mimick it enviably. Suddenly your eyes lock on mine. My heart drops into my stomach the way it would on the cha-cha at the royal show. I do know you. I remember it now as the pain begins and my eyes begin to sting. Suddenly I'm dizzy and some hole in my lungs becomes apparent. It's hard to breathe, impossible to retain oxygen let alone speak. But you are smiling now, and my pulse is off and racing. You chuckle at my reddening face as I recite phone numbers in my head to try to stop the thundering flow of blood to my cheeks. I can't hide now. You have seen me and you know we have met before. You are aware of the way I talk insecantly in my sleep. You already know when my lips part that my left front tooth will break first. You check me over and find your footprints are still all over me, probably crushing me in places. You'll laugh as I collapse into your offered arms. I know that I shouldn't, but you feel like an electric blanket that's been warming my empty bed. I am well aware of that leaving you on all these years is a fire hazard, but still, I will climb into you...intoxicated by this feeling of home.
(idea) by rosadfoc (1.8 hr) (print) Mon Jan 12 2004 at 11:55:44
It's quite strange in a way, what's going on at the moment, I mean... we all know what it's like to break up with someone, but really, in all my years as a so called lover and model girlfriend (ha!) I've never ever been through something like this. Our relationship was always quite strange in a way, I mean, him being French and all, me being...well...erm... international, and the fact we lived 2000 miles away didn't really allow us the best chance to see each other and have normal relationships that other so called "normal" teenagers out age were experiencing. It was made especially difficult by his parents that distinctly thought... almost as an ironic echo of the song sung by some long-gone one-hit-wonder punk band that we had "... too much too young" ironically all I can say is that it wasn't ME that was "... chained to the cooker making hot cross buns for tea..." This summer was really a turning point in our relationship, we overstepped the dreaded "sleeping together" mark and just went for it. In between meals, whenever the front door slammed shut and one of my family members left... there we were... at it like rabbits. We had a great summer really, playing happy grown-up couple and stuff, doing the old work hard play hard thing, going out, drinking too much, above all spending too much money, walking home in the glacial Cumbrian summer and saying multiple iloveyous and illneverleaveyous. It's strange how what your parents tell you often seems to come true, maybe it's some cruel twist of fortune or just plain coincidence... but my mum always says that men are like animals, they come, chase you till they get what they want, make sure they have it time and time again... - whether it be the pleasures of your company or your special Sunday roast- and then when the going gets tough, well the big tough men that once said they'd never ever swear down dead on their lives never leave you... well they do. It's always at the worst time too, when a girl needs the most company and help that he goes all cold on her. Did he really think about what he was doing when he asked you to sleep with him and couldn't be bothered to go and buy condoms?? I think not. It's then that you have to spend your Sunday afternoon going round town looking for a chemist that'll be open and will sell pregnancy tests. And that's when he says to you " Don't worry baby, I love you, we'll get through this together" and you hear Will Smith's rendition of "Just the two of us" banging away softly in the background, and deep down you have a feeling that everything's gonna be alright now... everything's gonna be alright... ok, maybe I am getting a bit bitter here, after all, he did pay for the pregnancy tests. Yeah so, anyway, back to the point, as soon as they find out that you're out of the danger zone, that it was all a false alarm, they breathe a deep sigh of relief and thank their lucky stars that the single working father hasn't turned out to be them. That's really when everything goes down the drain. The loving dontworryiloveyou hugs suddenly vanish into thin air and life is all wonderful and rosy again, well, for them it is. That was the key turning point for us, I left to go away to university and as I knew I'd soon have new opportunities open up for me I tried to think it was all going to get better soon and we'd be happy again. So here I am six months later, no baby, no nothing, just some looming mid-term exams which I am biting my nails over and a text message on my mobile saying he's written me a letter, that he doesn't want to talk about it on the internet and that I'll see when I get it. I'm not massively surprised really, since the last time we spoke was over a week ago and our highly intimate and interesting conversation ended with a yeah... see ya. I can't say that I careless, I do care, I do care... I do care, that's what I try to tell myself as I type away and a few metres away there's a great guy that loves me loads and does too much for me lying in a bed, but sincerely, I'm not sure, if it's been time, or distance or that little pink dot on the pregnancy test that has drawn us apart, but something has, no matter how much everyone tries to pretend that he didn't come and see me this Christmas because he had to spend it with his family-that just so happen to be all male and all the same age as him- this time it really is over. Now, all I have left to do is to concentrate on myself and those around me, try to make them happy and to see that I don't make the same mistakes again.
I'm married with 2 kids and i'm almost 30 yet he lingers in my mind. I thought when we split up it was over forever yet i long for him everyday. He's moved back to town and my heart is sinking into a hole and i'm not sure if i'll manage to keep it all together. He was my dream, a dream that I still hold onto, but one that may never come true. Just looking at him makes my knees weak and my heart pound,my heart cries out hold him make him yours again,but my mind tells me to look away and move on because i have a husband of 12 years and two wonderful kids. It's hard to leave well enough alone. I need this man in my life. Do I stay and let my heart break with every glance or do I go to him and pray it all works out. Ex's your worst enemy or your greatest love. Life wouldn't be worth living without the experiences you gain through all the heartbreak and torture that love brings with it.
I wrote this for my best friend a few years back and now i've found out she may not live much longer. She's not even 30 yet. She's my rock when things aren't going so great. I hope she feels no pain and i hope she knows i'll love her even in death. To My Best Friend One special day in march you came into my life you filled my days with laughter Even through the strife We laughed and cried and loved We didn't know when to quit Determined to take on the world slowing down not even a bit Our friends we shared together Even a boy or two We were inseparable everyone always knew So many changes life has brought but still our hearts weren't torn apart There are things that i regret Things i should have done To let you know daily you are my special one Our lives have changed and we've moved apart but deep inside my heart I knew my life was changed forever that special day in March.
I keep waiting for my husband to ask me that one question Your still in love with him aren't you? I worry about this because i've been married forever yet i'm afraid that if he ever see's me speaking to Bryan the answer to that question will become obvious, and my relationship will end and maybe what I feel for Bryan was just something from my past. A teenage girl and her first true soul quinching love.
(thing) by RappinRafi (5.5 min) Rep: -4 ( +0 / -4 ) (-) Mon Jun 16 2003 at 11:24:41
I believe it was somewhere in the month of February, 2003 that it occurred. It seemed just like any other normal boring Stevens Tech school day, wake up, go to classes, do some work, go back to sleep. So being as bored as I was, mushrooms seemed like the best idea at the time. It was quite random and surprising in that we had talked about me doing mushrooms before but I wasn't planning on doing it that night. It was me, two experienced users, and a sitter. Ingestion occurred at around 11:00pm. The dose we took was 3.5 gm (a relatively high dose). We just chilled out in the dark dorm room with a dark light on and some soft instrumental/ambient noise playing. After 15 min passed by, I started to experience some mild nausea. This was most likely due to the actual raw mushroom or just because of the fowl taste of the mushrooms, not the actual Psilocybin. After half an hour into it, I started to experience giddiness. It was just a mild case of uncontrollable laughter. The lights seemed brighter or "starry" and I felt more emotionally sensitive to the people around me. About an hour into it the nausea was completely gone. At this time, I still had no visual hallucination at this point but I was experiencing a bonding if u will with everyone in the room, especially with ones who have taken the mushrooms. It's as if I could feel their energies. At this point, we had all decided to go outside and explore Hoboken. As we walked out, I took a look in the mirror and saw that my eyes were now completely dilated, almost to the point where I couldn't see the iris. The hallway had a strange look to it, it seemed to be breathing, and the lights were starrier and shined like a diamond. I started to notice minute movements and small actions and objects more. I stopped in front of a door in the hallway, stared at it for a while and watched the grain of the wood start swirling about. My peripheral vision also seemed enhanced. As we started to walk down Washington St., I started to peak. The conceptual part of the trip started to kick in and I began to experience what many call an altered consciousness. Ideas started popping in my head. It seemed like hundreds of them coming from nowhere. I couldn't grab hold of most of them, only a few. It's as if I had tapped into what Plato called the "Idea Universe." I started to reflect on my past experiences, religion, nature, much more that would take too long to describe. At this point, it seems that I might have had my first hallucination or just a vision of a hallucination, I really can't tell but it was strong. As we were crossing the street to go down to the Hudson, I saw a car with two beautiful girls in the front seats. I then saw that they were looking at me and laughing so in my trip-like state, I brought about the attention of the guys and yelled out to the girls. The sitter then informed me that "those aren't chicks dude, those are guys." I didn't believe him at the time but I'm thankful that he dragged me to the river bank. By this time, time itself no longer seemed linear. It's as if time didn't exist. It seemed like it was going to be night time forever and that this altered existence will go on forever. I was connecting more with the people around me. I can fully feel people's energies and each person had their own distinct energy or aura. My friend was also experiencing this feeling. On our walk next to the Hudson, I had fully peaked; the mushrooms boosted my ego to enormous lengths. I saw the city and felt that I was in control of it, that I owned it and that at any moment; I could destroy it with the slightest thought. More ideas were popping in and out of my head. They seemed like thousands of ideas but I could only focus on 5 to 10 ideas at a time, which isn't even possible in a normal state. I started to proclaim and scream, "I understand homosexuality!" or "I understand scat!" Needless to say, sex was a reoccurring idea, not just sex thought; sex with love and even love itself. Then another major hallucination occurred which also seemed to include an auditory hallucination. It was another woman calling my name. I looked up and saw her in the 3rd floor window of an apartment building on the river side. I wanted to go up but I was instructed again that she doesn't exist. I was experiencing the heaviest trip out of all of us and it seemed that I was the center of attention. I don't know if that was real or trip induced but it didn't help me in trying to figure out if I was hallucinating them or if they were really there. I started to think they were actual hallucinations but I just went along with them. By now time was no where in my mind. I felt as if we had been outside for an entire day while in reality, it must have been like 2-3 hours. We finally walked back into Davis and things started calming down. This is when we began to discuss philosophical ideas with the guys. We went to Hayden lounge, chilled out in front of the city skyline and discussed many aspects of metaphysics, religion, love, nature, etc. The conversation started to get weirder or "trippier" as I would like to call it. We went on to love and sex; I believe one topic that we were discussing was how marry-able Amanda Bynes is and how great of a wife she would be. Anyways, by now I started experimenting with time and seeing how slow it was going. I checked my watch and we started talking again. It seemed like 3 to 4 hours had gone by when I checked it again but only 15 min has gone by. That freaked me out and it had worried me a bit. I felt that I wasn't going to be getting out of the trip and that I was going be tripping during class in the following day. My fears were put to rest by my more experienced partners and their reassurance that it would be okay. After about six hours, the trip was fully gone and I was back to normal. I went to Western Literature with a new found look on life. I was more in tune and more appreciative of nature, love seemed more significant to me and my quest for it was more of a priority now. Insignificant actions became more significant and noticeable. I became more grateful for what I have and I stopped worrying about needy and useless things. There are still so many things I left out of this story because either I couldn't describe it to you or I simply forgot.
(idea) by junonia (1 hr) (print) Rep: -10 ( +0 / -10 ) (-) C? Fri Sep 23 2005 at 8:37:38
We've known each other for years. We've been through each other's ups and downs and have always remained friends. You have become one of the few people I respect. We laugh together, we love being together. Why aren't we together? I should have told you that I love you. We are so much alike neither one of us would ever say it. Too afraid to take anything to another level and risk losing what we already have. We have always spoken openly about everything, except the two times we kissed. We are so perfect for each that it terrifies us. Have we been brought up to think love must be difficult? We have watched each other enter relationships and have only been able to hint to one another that is was wrong. I should have told you how I really felt. I should have told you more than that I thought she was wrong for you. I should have told you that I thought I was right.
Am I so insecure that when love was staring me in the face I still thought it couldn't be? Did I think you'd reject me? I'll never know because its too late.
I have finally lost you. We've been daring each other for years and you went first. You got the wrong girl pregnant and I have lost you forever. Not only that, but now I can never tell you how I feel. You will be with her forever and you will raise your child together because that is the kind of man you are and that is also why I love you. To come out now and tell you how I feel would be a horrible and selfish thing to do and it would betray everything that I hold dear in our friendship. I put on a smile everyday and I support you. I will always be there for you and I know deep inside we both know how life should have been.
(idea) by seekingwisdom Tue Oct 18 2005 at 16:09:37
Sisters:: When i was grwoing up i was never really attached with my older siblings perticularly my two older sisters. They used to hate us and they never hesitated to call me and my two brothers harsh names. Because of this, there used to be alot of fights and arguments between the "girls" and the "boys". It was like a cold war between the opposite siblings wating for the moment to declare war on each other. This tention didn't didn't last long. It was after my older sister who got married and moved out of the house that the ballence shiftted. "boys" who were consider insignificant now gaind contorl. After my older sister got married, the other sister had no choice but to accept us. ofcurse this didn't haapen over night. Soon after my oder sister got married, we moved to a new place 400 miles away from everthing we knew of. Friends, family, enemies etc... The new house which is a farm house forced the family to come togather. instead of watching TV for coundless hours, the family is working togather doing daily chores of the house. in the night, usally a discussion will break out, and offten end up talkin with each other till moring. So it happed where there was tention and hostility between siblings were now turned into imotional attachment. my second sister ended up getting married as well about 8 months ago and i went away to college. I only realise the friendship that had grown over the las 1.5 years when it was too late. Now she has a life in which we are not part of. when i call her i don't have words to say, but there is alot i want to say. its not like the old times when the only thing that stopped us from sharing our life experiences was when sleep over powered us. My advise to all who have sisters is to appreciate them bec before you know it, they will be gone, and you would have missed one of the biggest joy of life.
(person) by wallpaper4 Wed Oct 19 2005 at 14:42:23
She sits awkwardly above the rowdy crowd like a deer in headlights. Her wide-eyed stare steers toward the sea of flesh swarming in the pit below. Paralyzing shyness taints the moment as she feels the onerous weight of so many expectant eyes upon her.
Feeling exposed, she blinks. Straddling Neverland and reality, she pushes several drenched locks of long, dark hair away from her face and peeks out at the calling strangers through timid brown eyes. She has never played for a crowd this big before.
The spotlight drops with the flick of a switch by an unseen hand. Two banks of stale overhead lights flicker above--each one gaslighting with a tired fluorescent droning as if whispering, "Welcome To The Machine." Neverland melts away. Clocks speed up. Black and white emerges from behind the screaming shadows as an obtuse reality uncloaks beneath the stale desensitization.
Greedy eyes focus. Her self-conscience stirs. She glances towards the exit. It seems so far away--so unattainable.