A civic holiday in Canada,(Simcoe Day in Ontario), for many of our fine provinces, also the end of the long weekend that included Caribbana festival downtown Toronto. I missed it again this year, living so deep into suburbia i often can't tell if culture ever stood for anything beyond tv and manicured lawns.

My old friend Sean came up from downtown, he just got a new leopard-skin rug molded to his motorbike. It does look pretty cool, for a machine that can easily cause instant death. The air outside is really beautiful, makes me wish i had a car and camping gear, i'd go away for a week or 2 and just meditate on mosquitos and beer.

It's too damn easy to slip into fights with some people here on e2, especially immature editors who seem to enjoy the trip of power/status. I may have an opinion in regards to certain policy, and perhaps some insight that cannot be implemented even if agreed to. I'm deleting a /msg from Sylvar, and i'm going to forget about this nonsense tonight.

I have a different problem also. I am admitting that i eat way too much, not that i am over-weight, i'm not.. but while my friends can only eat 3-4 slices of pizza, i'm still hungry after my own whole one. The thing is, i feel legitimately hungry, even when it can appear to others as gluttony. I run 8 km a day, but my consumption causes problems when you have to split a shared meal. What seems normal portions to me, is abnormal to the rest of the world. I have amazingly enough gone through lean times also, but it just bothers me i was still hungry after having a large pizza, plate of chicken wings, and spicey pasta shells.

I worked on a new song today using some samples I gathered a month ago. All the sounds I sampled from a short tv news piece from europe about Bjork attacking a reporter. Some very nice sounds and vocal inflections, the big problem i have is it is hard to hear the nuances of inter-twining rhythms when people complain about the noise level. I can't afford my own studio yet, so I'm pretty much limited until i purchase some headphones. Headphones scare me however, my hearing is bad enough from using a walkman on the bus to drown out the useless conversations of those around me.

I had a conversation about home mortgaging today, although i doubt i'll bother until i can put a reasonable downpayment together, and I still don't know what part of the planet i want to live on for any extended period of time. I also started reading some very academic articles about future database systems and the use of sensory transducers which influence alternate information processing and knowledge development. I find this stuff very interesting, but i don't think i can see myself spending my life looking for grants to write academic papers.

So, now that the long weekend is over I guess i should be looking for work, even though i am completely uninspired, and wondering if i want to even bother continuing after the jobs i was supposed to get with my MCSE. The only jobs i've found in Canada are Computer technician positions or that Y2k Deployment i did which was challenging, but limited in scope of overall network engineering. I know at least now that i don't want to become an IT Manager, I find WAN stuff cool, but what it really comes down.. I want to write music and draw, spin records and work with cutting edge media technology.

Had a chat with my friend's sister today after my run. She's getting ready to go off to university in Ottawa. Same town as i did, but she's going to Ottawa U (Tom Green had his first radio show there), whereas i went to Carleton. I can remember being just as excited for a new start to life somewhere else, it just hasn't left me.. i still want to find that one place that everything will fit who i am. I just get tired of being in 1 place so fast, that unless i am able to focus on the things that are important to me, i just want to jet. The difference between me and many other people is that i will do it, I'll go to Europe, or San Francisco, or Japan.

Right now, i'm just going to sleep.