Hey guys. I realized I hadn't written any daylogs in a while, and I feel I must rectify this. Besides, I need the xp. ba-dum ching!

Fear and Loathing -
(Without the drugs, nor the violence, and in Vancouver, not Las Vegas)

Part 1

Last weekend I was in Vancouver for the Radiohead concert. I went with a non-noder pal of mine, who we shall call "Spike". Spike and I are good buds. We've partied together, gone to clubs, shared emotions uncharacteristic of men, etc. So I know him pretty well.

Anyway, we arrive in Vancouver on Friday night after a long day of driving, and after a dinner with our hosts - my father's cousin - filled with passionate discourse about globalization, the economy and "those damn protestors", we decide to find a club that will take us in and let us dance.

We go to Gastown, a trendier area, and end up in some club by the name of "Shine". This place is way cooler than anything in Calgary, in terms of atmosphere, design, and music. The DJ is amazing, playing this great downtempo house. Unbelievable. The atmosphere is a little different, but we get into it and start dancing. After a while I get pretty tired because of all the driving we did during the day. I ask Spike if he wants to leave, but he says no. So I stay there, dancing, getting tired and sullen. Finally, I ask again if we can leave, but he still wants to dance. Fine. I go off into a corner to sit with some non-alcoholic beverage and collect my thoughts.

Now, there's something that Spike does often at clubs. Once a night, just before we leave, he tries to randomly pick up the hottest girl on the dance floor. 99% of the time this fails, and there are traceable reasons for this. I mean, imagine yourself a girl dancing in a club when suddenly this strange bloke who you've never seen before comes up and asks you to dance. Remember, you are the prettiest one on the dancefloor. You'd probably say no. And so do they. However, on this night, 926 kilometres from home, in a bar in downtown Vancouver, Spike tries the random pick-up and is met with success. I see him from far away - I'm at the other side of the bar - talking to this sweet young thing, and the two of them pass me by without noticing me, and walk up the stairs out of the bar.

I sit for a moment in shock and confusion. Unsure what to do, I walk up the stairs and follow - keeping a respectful distance, mind. Outside, he's talking to the girl. I sit on a bench and try not to stare, looking off into space. Still, I catch a glimpse of her - red hair, skinny, short, nice breasts - Jesus, did I think that? I resume staring into space. After a while, Spike notices me and he comes over, holding hands with the girl. "This is Tina," he says, (or maybe it was Deana; my ears were ringing). He gets our coats and decides to leave. "Tina" has two friends, and the five of us - me, Spike, Tina and her friends - walk towards the SkyTrain. Spike is still hand-in-hand with Tina, and I'm walking behind with her friends. "Oh, aren't they cute?" remark the friends. If I was smart, I would have grabbed one of their hands. But I wasn't smart, and I will never see them again. After an exchange of telephone numbers, Tina and Spike huggy-wug and Tina and her friends leave on the SkyTrain.

Spike and I go back to the car. "I hope you're not mad," says Spike. Of course not. The only person I know in 926 kilometres and he has to get involved with a fucking girl. And I get nothing, mostly from my own stupidity. I don't know whether to scream or cry but I instead find the incredible urge to laugh. I look at Spike; "926 kilometres from home and you get yourself a girlfriend. This is love kicking your ass, 'cause in three days you'll never see her again." I wasn't being overly cruel as we both knew it was true. Still, I found the whole thing incredibly stupid.

Will Spike new girl call him? (Yup.) Will the boys be dazzled by the big city, and rolled in an alleyway by punks? (Nope.) Will JyZude get laid? (Nope. Not a chance.) Will JyZude find Pseudo Intellectual and shake his hand? (Crap! I didn't know he was a Vancouverite until I came back!) Find out in episode 2 of Fear and Loathing! Coming soon to a daylog near you.