A wonderful school-specific parody of We Didn't Start the Fire sung by the Cornell University Cayuga's Waiters. They're an all-male a cappella group whose name is a pun on a phrase from Cornell lore--Cayuga's Waters. I didn't go to Cornell, so I don't know if Cayuga is a lake, a river, or an incontinent professor... but the song is funny.

{{addendum: thanks to the many users who simultaneously /msg'ed me--Cayuga is a lake.}}

More accurately, it's a parody of going to school at Cornell, set to Billy Joel's great tune. It is sung a cappella, with no vocal percussion, but the recording I found of their performance (the one I'm getting the lyrics from) sounds like there's--gasp!--an acoustic guitar playing in the background... but we'll cut them some slack because, well, the song is really funny, even if you don't get the inside jokes.


Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray,
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio.
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television,
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe.

Dragon Days, Superman, Tiegel Hall, Big Red Band,
Hunter Rawlings, Ivy Room, too much beer, there goes my kyoom...
Dijon Burger, blue light, come home hammered every night,
Manos' Diner, Theory Center, pukin in your dorm room.

We didn't go to Harvard!
Well, it's not our style, plus we don't wear argyle.
We didn't go to Harvard!
But upon reflection, it's 'cause we have no connections.
We didn't go to Harvard!
No, we're not that cocky, and they can't play hockey.

Magic Johnson comes to town, workers took the pumpkin down,
Rockefeller, auto-teller, fun in the sun,
Day Hall, VBR, what the hell's a Whiskey Bar?
Dunbar's, Rulloff's, Cornell Daily Sun.
Penn sucks, so does Brown, CT Jammers comes to town,
Baker Tower, Uris Hall, take a bus to Pyramid Mall,
Co-op, stealing fruit, grossed out by the fork chute.
Freshman chicks, party mix, look at all those bouncing tits!

We didn't go to Harvard!
No, we don't like crimson, 'cause we didn't get in.

Randy Stevens, Riley Robb, drive around in daddy's Saab,
State Street Diner, Huey Lewis, thirty feet of snow.
Poco Loco, stacks at Olin, Taco Bell, Ides for bowling,
North campus, west campus, aggies learn to hoe.

College town, Friday night? Read a book by E.B. White
Drink all night, sleep all day, don't let classes in the way,
Louie's Lunch kinda sucks, wait in line at Hot Truck,
Cornell night, slope days. No, the waiters aren't gay!
Course exchange, add/drop form, there's no drinking in the dorm
Mommy says, "Wear your fleece! Sign a real expensive lease!"
Six o'clock, Bell Tower, get into an after-hours,
Fake ID, take it away, what else do I have to say?

We didn't go to Harvard!
No we're not complaining, but it's always raining.
So we go to Cornell,
it's in the middle of nowhere, but we really don't care.
Here we are at Cornell!
We don't go to classes, we just sit on our asses.
Here we are at Cornell:
{spoken} - Such Diversity in One University!
Here we are at Cornell,
and when we are gone, it will still go on and on and on and on and on....

If any of you are Waiters or Waiter alums, or even Cornell people who recognize a bit of your school in the gibberish I've transcribed above, I'd love a /msg letting me know about any inaccuracies in these lyrics. Better yet, node what you know! I've hard linked stuff that I'll never be able to explain... help me!

If any of you are in Goucher Red Hot Blue, your off-campus performance of We Didn't Go To Hopkins at last semester's Mental Notes post-show party knocked me off my feet, even though I'd heard the Cornell version. JHU isn't the only school in Baltimore with an a cappella group, and you showed it! Please, please, please, post your excellent lyrics--I made you a nodeshell, just add content!