"I'm actually very tired up here, I'm sorry if there's a lack of energy, but what it is, is, this morning, like, I didn't have to be awake til uh eight, and the guy upstairs who lives upstairs above me--five thirty, his alarm goes off. And so he, uh, well--Nevermind, I'm not going to bore you with the story of that guy. So anyway, I was up, y'know, two and a half hours before I should have been, and so I just decided I was gonna write this song, and I've had this idea for a song, and--
About a month ago, I went to New Hampshire. And I don't know if any of you have ever been to New Hampshire, but um, when I -- it was not a place that I -- well, nothing against the people from New Hampshire, I didn't choose to go there, but when I got there I was like, "Hey, this is a kinda cool place. I like New Hampshire. And I'm glad I came!" ...and it just just touched me so much that I had to write a song about it, so, it's kinda serious, but I would like to do it for you tonight."
--audience banter from "burnt"
Well the guy upstairs won't let me play my guitar
unless he's not at home or very far
away. But tonight when he gets home,
I'm gonna wait and listen 'til he's all alone
and I'm gonna climb upstairs with my gun--
and I know that he's gonna try to run
And I'm gonna look him right between the eyes,
and blow a hole in his head the size
of New Hampshire.

Well I've been havin' a lot of trouble with my colon recently,
and it makes me just wanna scream and shout
cause no matter how much I push or grit my teeth,
nothing ever seems to want to come out.
But I know that one of these nights,
I know I'm gonna win the fight,
but I'm not stupid enough to not realize
that whatever comes out is gonna be the size
of New Hampshire.

Well, New Hampshire is known as the Granite State,
and it's been part of our country since 1788.
The people live there with the motto "Live free or die,"
and it's also the home of Franklin Pierce, that President guy,
Lake Winnepesaukee is so damn pure!
Mount Washington is so damn high!
Nine thousand, four hundred and three square miles...
That's roughly the size
of New Hampshire.

Thank you very much.

--Throwing Toasters

Track 6 on "burnt" : 2000