Letter from a well-meaning Captain
, I have devised a strategy
When the South
shouted "enough" and tried to leave
, we slaughtered them with rails and rifles.
So please drink more water and get some sleep.
Your trains should run on time
and your snipers
must shoot sharp. Your doctor says secession
is best for all concerned this time around.
So give up the hill
, but sell it dearly; fight
like cornered Texans
. When your daughter asks,
tell her: now I have more room
to hold you.