"I shit on everything that's sexy."

This is my translation of Hoven Droven's warm, upbeat country song--actually a Scandinavian folk music tune--whose chorus is a cheery rebuke of the fickle love of a woman, and in fact, all things womanly. Well, not all things. If you've heard "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" then you're halfway there. "My Love For You Is Like A Truck" comes a little closer. It helps to know that a "Ski-Doo" is a snowmobile.

The song features great country steel guitar, fiddle, a drummer on a trap set, and what might be a banjo, or possibly an electric banjo picking out eighth notes for rhythm. The harmony is in the same form as American bluegrass--that "high lonesome sound" with a wailing fourth or fifth above the dominant note--with all-male vocals and ample unintelligible shouts and whoops, which I assume are the Swedish equivalent of "YEEEEE-HAW!". The beat is a little slower than most bluegrass--more like The Blues Brothers singing "Stand By Your Man" or the theme from "Rawhide". Very 1970's country and western, and terribly catchy.

Listening to them sing it in Swedish is funny (to my American ears), but my translation--probably quite weak, since I don't actually speak Swedish--should put a grin on your face even if you only speak English. Where I took liberties to fit the rhyme scheme, I've pipelinked a more accurate translation in the English. Pipelinks in the Swedish are single-word translations. The double entendres translate very well, and had me rolling by the last verse. If you speak Swedish, I'd appreciate any commentary on my translation.

Jag vet att många karlar finner
det spännande med kvinnor
o dom gör allt vad dom hinner
i sin jakt på erotik.
Själv har jag aldrig haft nån flamma
o faktiskt gör det mig detsamma,
för, frånsett nu min egen mamma
är den ena den andra lik.
Så, jag har aldrig haft nån flamma
nej, det är inte min musik.

I know many men who find
that women are intriguing,
and they're spending all their time
in sexy ventures.
Myself, I've never had a flame,
To me, it's really all the same.
I tell the babes to get away:
they're all just wenches.
And since I've never had a flame,
here's my song against it all:

Jag skiter i det sexuella.
Jag behöver ingen fjälla
för att kunna tillfredsställa mitt libido.
För, om lusten packar på
ja, då vet jag att jag kan få
det jag vill ha och mer ändå
ifrån min Ski-Doo!

I shit on everything that's sexy.
I don't need no silly woman
just to satisfy my horny ol' libido.
For I desire nothing else,
when I can satisfy myself,
to the point of fulfilment with my Ski-Doo!

Mina manliga hormoner
visar inga reaktioner
när parfym doftande "Honor"
går förbi, emellertid
känner jag hur mina lustar,
ropar inom mig, o frustar,
när jag känner små, små pustar
av gas o koloxid
Då känner jag hur mina lustar
liksom rustar sig till strid.

My extreme testosterone,
doesn't react for anyone,
when I'm smelling sweet perfume that's made "for Her".
I'm done with all that silly stuff,
but I feel how my rising lust
is in me, kicking up that dust,
I'm panting for the sweet smell of exhaust!
Yes, I feel how my rising lust
has got my engine all revved up!

(and a breakdown!)

Ja, min Ski-Doo är mig trogen,
hon är vacker, hon är mogen,
o hon tar mig ut i skogen
o jag rider henne där.
Bland stammar och buskage
smeker jag hennes reglage
o hon ger mig sin massage
o stillar mitt begär.
Bland stammar och buskage
är det mig hon håller kär.

Yes, my Ski-Doo's true and pure,
she is pretty, she's mature,
and when she takes me to the woods,
I ride her there.
Among the stumps and scratchy shrubs,
I fondle her throttle knobs,
and then she gives me a massage
to ease my mind.
Among the stumps and scratchy shrubs,
I hold her close and show my love!

and out.