I already know you're reading this. I don't know who you are, but I know that you may or may not have an opinion on this issue, and now you're here: reading what I wrote. Maybe you've read something else about this topic, or maybe you only know what the obnoxious morning DJs told you about it between guffawing at their own jokes. But I knew you'd be reading this before I ever wrote it, and you bet your ass I listened to those DJs. I know what they told you, and I have already prepared a wonderful intellectual argument to counter their bathroom humor and casual banter. I've also thought of a great way to discredit them, even though I don't need to attack whatever passes for their "credibility".

What's more, I know how to convince you to see things my way. Actually, it's not going to be hard, not at all. Did I say convince? It's not even really "convincing" you, since we see eye to eye on this: your point of view is actually the same as mine, in a way! You and me, we're a lot alike, in the things we value. I mean, we all want the same things, don't we? And it's for the good of the children, for the Constitution, for our way of life... it's only natural, isn't it?

An intelligent reader like yourself probably sees right through that flattery to the core of my argument--ah, yes, you got me old chap! It was an argument all along!--and maybe now you're on your guard. Maybe you're reading a little more closely now, thinking that those softlinks aren't as innocuous as they seemed? Have you considered going back to the top, reading this one more time, just to make sure that I didn't slip something past you?

What if that's exactly what I intended you to do?