There's a newer version of this game (Elevator Action EX, actually) that's also pretty excellent in that it follows so many of the wonderful clichés of early-90's video games.

You have your choice of three characters, two guys and a girl. The one guy is this slick James Bond type with a red suit who's pretty average all around, and the other is a massive beast of a man with an enormous chest who wears a tank top and can only jump a few inches off the ground. Finally, you've got the girl, who's incredibly tiny, can jump six feet in the air, and has just about no hit points.

You've got a host of identical bad guys who shoot bullets that move about 15 miles an hour and at just the right height so that you can duck directly underneath them every time, or jump right over them if they're fired while ducking.

All of the main characters react, damage-wise, the same whether they' get bit by a dog, crushed by an elevator, shot in the face at point-blank range with a submachine gun, or fall about six feet.

The bad guys die with an adorable little *ploop* sound as you splatter their intestines against the wall with a 12-gauge, and there's a white-haired, cigar smoking evil kingpin who kidnaps your girlfriend.

It's viciously repetitive but also beautiful in its own way.