My dad tells the story of his 1969 road trip to Canada with three of his friends in his VW Bus. They spent a week or so up there and in the process discovered the wonder that is Smarties. They ate them ravenously for the whole trip, stowing the empty plastic tube-like containers in a cabinet in the bus.

At the end of the week they were on their way back, and a customs officer decided he'd check out the bus full of dirty hippies. He was on his way to open up the cabinet when my dad's friend leapt in front of him and explained that there was nothing in there and really no reason for the man to open up the cabinet. He opened it up, of course, revealing a pile of hundred-some plastic tubes. The officer proceeded to open up every last one of the tubes, with my dad and his friends all the while pleading "You don't need to look in there... no, there's nothing in there..."

For a generally law-abiding individual, my dad sure has been strip-searched a lot.