If this ever passes, here are some things you can use to both get around the
law and point up how
stupid the whole thing is.
1. Play with the
definition of "
flag". If it's a
piece of cloth, burn a
paper flag. Or burn a
picture of a flag. Or burn a
red, white, and blue T-shirt. Burn a
Texas flag or a
Confederate flag -- same colors, and certain people would probably
freak out just as hard.
2. Play with the definition of "
American flag". Try
burning a flag with seven stripes and 158 stars. Or burn a purple, yellow, and green
American flag. Or a
triangular one.
3. If the
amendment only
outlaws burning, find other ways to
desecrate the flag. Rub it in the dirt. Run over it with your car.
Piss on it. Sew it to the seat of your pants and eat a plate of
beans.
4. If the amendment
bans any desecration of the flag, start turning in anyone who doesn't treat the flag with proper
respect. Turn in businessmen who use American flags in
advertisements. Turn in people who fly the flag until it's reduced to a frayed, tattered
rag. Turn in junior high kids who don't
fold the flag properly. Hell, turn in people for
imaginary flag desecration--force the
Justice Department to
investigate several hundred false reports of desecration when they should be investigating
real crimes.
5. Turn in the
Boy Scouts and the
American Legion when they
destroy flags by burning them. Why should they have all the
fun?
6.
Burn a copy of the
U.S. Constitution. Hey, there ain't no amendments banning that. It's probably just a
misdemeanor, too.
7. Visit
Canada or
Mexico. They won't care if you burn an American flag.
Film it and send it to your
Congressman.
Laugh at him loudly and in
public.