If this ever passes, here are some things you can use to both get around the law and point up how stupid the whole thing is.

1. Play with the definition of "flag". If it's a piece of cloth, burn a paper flag. Or burn a picture of a flag. Or burn a red, white, and blue T-shirt. Burn a Texas flag or a Confederate flag -- same colors, and certain people would probably freak out just as hard.

2. Play with the definition of "American flag". Try burning a flag with seven stripes and 158 stars. Or burn a purple, yellow, and green American flag. Or a triangular one.

3. If the amendment only outlaws burning, find other ways to desecrate the flag. Rub it in the dirt. Run over it with your car. Piss on it. Sew it to the seat of your pants and eat a plate of beans.

4. If the amendment bans any desecration of the flag, start turning in anyone who doesn't treat the flag with proper respect. Turn in businessmen who use American flags in advertisements. Turn in people who fly the flag until it's reduced to a frayed, tattered rag. Turn in junior high kids who don't fold the flag properly. Hell, turn in people for imaginary flag desecration--force the Justice Department to investigate several hundred false reports of desecration when they should be investigating real crimes.

5. Turn in the Boy Scouts and the American Legion when they destroy flags by burning them. Why should they have all the fun?

6. Burn a copy of the U.S. Constitution. Hey, there ain't no amendments banning that. It's probably just a misdemeanor, too.

7. Visit Canada or Mexico. They won't care if you burn an American flag. Film it and send it to your Congressman. Laugh at him loudly and in public.