The alpha male of all scary/cheesy urban legends. Here's how it
goes...
"So like, this really happened to a cousin or something of a girl I know at school. It was right after Homecoming, and she and her boyfriend had gone up to Lookout Point to look at the stars, right?
"So they're up there and they're kissing a little, and they've only got to second base so far. So they've got the radio on and like, they break in on the music and the DJ says he's got a news bulletin. There's been a break-out at the insane asylum just outside town, and this crazy lunatic guy has gotten out and they can't find him. They say, look out for him, 'cause he's totally nuts, and the way to recognize him is that one of his hands has gotten chopped off, and he's got a big meathook in place of his hand. I know! That's like so -- EEWWWW!
"So anyway, the DJ says for everyone to be careful, and he puts some music on. And this girl gets really creeped out, and she's like, hey, let's get outta here. 'Cause it's dark, and they're miles away from anyone, and it's pretty spooky up there. But the guy is like, aww, come on, we're having fun, there's no crazy people up here, let's do it, I love you, baby. But she's like, Nuh-uh! I don't want to get killed by some weirdo hook killer! You take me home right now, or you're never gettin' any!
"And so he's all pissed and goes, fine, whatever. And he starts the car fast and really spins out real hard when they pull out. You know how they do, spinning their wheels real fast like it's showing what big dicks they got? So anyway, they're both pissed at each other, and they give each other the silent treatment all the way home.
"Anyway, they get to her house, and he gets out and goes around to open her door for her, 'cause like, her dad might be watching, right? So he gets over to her side of the car, and he just stares at the car for a minute, and then he falls over in a dead faint! And the girl gets out of the car to see what's wrong and if he's okay, and when she closes the car door, she sees it: a great big bloody meathook, hanging off the door handle.
"And they never caught that maniac killer, ever."
I always wondered if the Hook also distributed Blue Star Acid to schoolchildren.