"Dude, what are you saying?"

"Just what I said. You heard what I said, right?"

"Yeah, I heard what you said. I didn't like the way you sounded like you meant it."

"I did mean it. Come on, you want to. I know it."

"Fuck you, man. You're drunk."

"I'm just tipsy. And horny. And there's no girls around. And there is this donkey. Right here."

"You're fuckin' nuts. I don't wanna have sex with a donkey."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"Dude, shut up! I'd prefer my dates to at least be human."

"You mean you'd fuck a guy before you'd fuck this donkey?"

"Yeah, I probably would. Hell, I know I would."

"Fag."

"Shut up. And stop touching that donkey that way."

"Why? I think she likes it."

"What's up with you? You've never acted like a perv before."

"Dude, I've always been an ass man."

"Wha? I thought you'd meant you liked girls' asses!"

"Well, they'll do. But you get better action from a donkey. They kick."

"Dude, they'll kick your fucking dick off. And seriously, stop touching that donkey."

"No, dammit! I can't stand to wait any longer! I can't let this glorious donkey-flesh go to waste! I can't let this flower of equininity wither away!"

"Dude! Shut up!"

"No! I want to ravish her! I want to feel her shaggy loins beneath my own! I want to make her mine and mine alone!"

"Oh God! Stop it! Put your pants back on!"

"Let's do it, man! Let's FUCK this donkey!"

"Jesus God! I--I gotta get out of here!"

"Ooooh, yeah! That's it! Come with me, baby! Yeah! Whooo-YEAH! YYYEEEEAAHHH!!!"


Excerpt: "Life on the Jones Farm", (C) 1958 by Educational Films Corporation, Hollywood, California

E2 Grand Prize Winner: Don't Node Everything That Pops Into Your Mind division