It's been a few weeks since I went for that business course in Portrush, and ever since I returned, I have been very busy. The company I am working for has absorbed my life almost completely, and I am finding it difficult to observe and maintain a sense of myself beyond the company work, because the project that we are currently working on is so important, it has the potential to change all our lives, to put us into that wonderful dreamzone of security and plenty, from which we can see the world as a playground and not an enemy.

I think this is something that all people hope for, except of course the incredibly wealthy, who already have it. For me though, being a simple, and relatively poor person living in Northern Ireland, it is a dream that drives me on during my waking hours, and consumes my visions at night. To never have to worry about paying a bill again, to be sure that you can educate your children in the best way possible, to be able to move from country to country at whim: travel for the rest of your life, secure that you won't run out of cash, that is something worth fighting for now, when I am young, and strong, and especially so that I don't regret it when I get older. I must say that the course itself wasn't that special, but it did open my eyes, the fact that there is so much out there, for the people who have the guts to take it, and risk it all. I guess I am lucky, being young I can risk all, and give all, knowing that if it is taken, that I can simply shrug, and move on. Twenty years from now I probably won't be quite so open, but then again, who knows?

For the moment though, I think a spell at the gym might be in order to get rid of some of the flab that has been building up over the last year. It might also be a bit cathartic. At the moment I am reading Spinoza, and Douglas Adams. Both are excellent.