So I've been trying to find a song that describes how I feel
about Colin. I've come up with a couple. Sappiness alert: you've been warned
I think Alanis Morisette's Head over feet more or less sums it up. Yeah.
...You treat me like
I'm a princess
I'm not used to
you ask how my day was
...what took me so long?
...I've never felt
this healthy before
I've never wanted
I am aware now...
Today, I feel more like Billy Joel's The longest time:
I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the (wo)man that you are
you're wonderful so far
And it's more than I hoped for...
Yeah, I'm gonna gush now. If you are disgusted by terrible sappiness, you can just disregard the rest of this writeup right now, because it's gonna be BAD. I have reached "Oh-my-god-can-you-just-effin'-SHUT-UP-about-the-guy?" stage.
He is adorable. He's sweet and cuddly and affectionate and goofy and funny. We have disgusted most of his friends almost to the point of making them kneel before the porcelain god.
When we went to Chicago and I was driving, he got so insanely irritated at the people being rude to me on the road. After a cabbie flicked me off and yelled "WHAT, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING?!?!?!", Colin declared: "That's it. If one more person honks at you, I'm getting out of this car and kicking the $#|7 out of him." Maybe it was just him being all irritated at the hostilities thrown in our general direction, but I thought "Oh, how cute! He wants to defend me!" Yeah. I'm an idiot. I can't help it. I used to like Glory of Love by Peter Cetera. Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic.
I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that you're dreaming of...
Yeah. I can just see it. Soon I'll be writing fantasy stories in which we discover a passage to some dangerous parallel dimension with monsters and evil nobility, and he'll be my hero defending me from perils that confront us.
"Run!" Colin yelled at Jade as he rushed forward to attack the evil monster with big teeth, his katana drawn from its red sheath. Who would've thought that a decoration in his room in rural Wisconsin would save their lives on so many ocassions in such a short time? It was pure luck that she had been holding it as the portal to the mystical world of Nador opened beneath their feet in a tarot reading gone bad...
... They held each other in the pale light cast on the clearing by the twin moons that adorned the endless dark infinity above. The night was too bright and the stars weren't very visible, but even if they were, they'd be no consolation. Jade could not recognize any of the constellations, no matter how hard she tried. A single tear slid down her cheek, and Colin wiped it away with his thumb.
"I know, Jade, I know... But don't worry. I'll find a way to get us back home, and I won't let anything happen to you in the meantime."
Okay, that's enough. I think I must go to the bathroom and cough up my lunch. I disgust myself.
I am so full of clichés.