I just sent out this letter to an ad agency that's looking for a junior marketer. It might get me a job, or It might get me an FBI file. We'll see.
Hey there.
My resume, while being a wonderful testament to how I've made rent over the last few years, is unfortunately rather dry (but oh, so informative). I though I'd give you an idea as to who I am before you trudge through that. Sound fair? Thought so.
I'm a writer, an editor a geek and a musician. I'm working on a novel that, the longer it takes and the older I get, is looking increasingly juvenile. That worries me. I'm an editor on Everything2.com, a website populated by information-obsessed word jockeys that want to archive the world, one bit of minutae at a time and I nudge them in the right direction in regards to grammar, literary convention and whatnot. I administrate my own website and am trying to figure out what exactly to do with all this webspace at my fingertips. I work excellently in Mac OS, competently in Linux/Unix and in Windows if necessary (not that I don't know Windows, it just makes my teeth hurt.) And...I'm currently writing a musical with my roommate. Yes, for fun.
That's what I do. Here's who I am: I'm a bit of a cynic without being jaded, and am happy-go-lucky most of the time, if a bit too realistic for some people's tastes while at the same time being a storyteller and a fabulist. Odd combo, but...you know. I love people, can't live without 'em, really, and go slightly nuts if locked in a room by myself. I spend more time than normal in New Jersey visiting my parents as it gives me an excuse to get out of the city for a weekend. If I had the money I'd be in Washington D.C. bi-monthly, hangin' out at the Smithsonian and making friends/revisiting old ones in Georgetown. I smoke too much, but it's better than biting my nails. I indulge in cheap beer and expensive whiskey, and sometimes find myself watching the Food Network at 3am because I can't quite get to sleep. I'm not quite an insomniac but I'm getting there, mostly because my body really, really wants to be on a 28-hour schedule. Yours does too, just so you know - it's just that some people are better at regulating it than others.
I'm tired of having to choose between awful jobs that pay decently and awesome jobs that leave me destitute. I'm tired of trying to impress people so I can sit behind a desk all day. I'm tired of watching stupid people make something out of themselves while I stagnate, and I'm extremely tired trying to come across as calm, collected and centered when I haven't worked in close to two months.
I'm just...tired. And as an Ad-man, I'm about at prototypical as you could possibly get.
Hire me.