(From the C'mon dude, I had to tell SOMEBODY, so I might as well tell the family department)

See, there's this girl.

(oh boy, here we go...)

Shaddap you. This is a good story.


Better. Anyway. There's this girl I've been talking to online and off for a week. I haven't met her. I know practically nothing about her except that I really, really, really like her.

How do I know this? I've proofread her papers. This is not a euphemism for sex of any kind. I've quite seriously proofread her finals. Yes, I did this for fun. Yes, I'm strange.

I'm glad I did it. Her brain makes me go all squishy.

I'm meeting her for the first time tonight. Because my social skills are better online and on the phone than they are in person, I needed an ice-breaker. So I made her a CD. This is it. May you find it illuminating.

Brought to you by the guy standing behind the suave motherfucker standing in front of you. The one with the glasses and the annoyingly plaid shirt. Yeah, him.

    Title: The Proofreader's Opening Volley

  1. Frank SInatra - I Love Paris (The Select Cole Porter)
  2. Jude - Love Letters (430 Harper Ave.)
  3. Josh Dodes - Wasted By Your Door (Freak)
  4. Save Ferris - Come On Eileen (It Means Everything)
  5. Jack Johnson - Traffic in the Sky (On and On)
  6. Randy Newman - Sail Away (The Randy Newman Songbook, Vol. 1)
  7. The Holy Cole Trio with Wayne Shorter - Losing My Mind (Color and Light - Jazz Sketches on Sondheim)
  8. Fighting Gravity - Mission Bells (Forever = One Day)
  9. Great Big Sea - Trois Navires de Ble (Turn)
  10. Richard Thompson - Train Don't Leave (You? Me? Us?)
  11. Bruce Hornsby - White Wheeled Limousine (Hot House)
  12. Shades Apart - One Starry Night (Eyewitness)
  13. The Who - Who Are You (The Who's Greatest Hits)
  14. Billy Bragg - Accident Waiting to Happen (Live at the World Cafe, Volume 11)
  15. The Old 97's - Barrier Reef (Too Far to Care)
  16. Robbie Fulks - Let's Kill Saturday Night (Let's Kill Saturday Night)
  17. Aimee Mann - Save Me (The Magnolia Soundtrack)