Even 2,000 miles away, she still never ceases to make me feel so needed, so loved. I could swear we have a link that stretches across the nation, keeping our hearts entwined, never breaking.

And yet, each day without her is so hard. Not feeling her embrace, not hearing her voice over more than the downsampled transmission telephone allows. Walking the halls of school, looking for her out of habit, and seeing only the goggle-eyed stares and blank faces of the other sheep in my high school.

Life without her here is dull. I miss her more and more each minute.

On the phone with her, however, I feel at peace. I've never met a person that can make me feel so wonderful, so needed, and yet so worried. She's become bulimic, and she sounds weaker each time I talk to her. She says that I make her happy, though. I talk to her and her spirits rise. I smile even when she has bad news, the sound of her voice can bring me out of the blue funk I live in anymore. I am happy overall, I can restrain the sliver of depression that taints my smile when I am with my best friends, but I can't seem to shake the feeling of aimlessness.

Ever sit at a computer, and open Internet Explorer (or "Intern Explorer", as it's labelled on my PC), and just scroll through the about:home page, close it, and open it again, only to do the very same thing? It's a habit I have when I'm on the phone with her, or just simply thinking about her.

I'm not obsessed. I'm just very very in love. And very lonely.

School will be hard. Graduation is attainable, but I have to really strain and do my best, because I've let my grades slip yet again, as I always do, and now I've got to resucitate them. It's not as hard as it sounds, but when I come home to my computer, my mind drifts. And, anyway, being a senior, the school year is truncated, and we take our exams early. I want to be sitting with my class when the fire department gets called and alerted to our fire code infringement. I want to be able to tell my grandparents and parents that I have finally earned my high school diploma. I want to be able to get my driver's license, and drive on my own, dammit.

All of this shit is my fault. It's like a pile of bricks I knocked on top of myself, and my shoulders have almost given out.

But, I soldier on. I will always do so. I have to remain strong.

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.