This is an old speech I wrote. It is supposed to be witty, and cool, but mostly stupid.

1. As I was preparing for this speech I was wondering what I would write about. So I thought why don’t I talk about something I know very well. Guys. I will attempt in this speech to give a greater understanding of guys. What makes a guy a guy. And what is the difference between a man and a guy. Yes, you can be a guy and be a man. But you can’t always be a man and be a guy.

2. Definition of the difference between a man and a “guy”
- Man can be the definition of the gender of a guy. You can be a guy who is a man, but you can't always be guy who's a man.
- Man refers to machoism, doing things to prove you manliness such as invading a country.
- A Guy refers to pure fun-loving immaturity.
- Example: Being a man and standing up for our rights is what gave us the idea for the Revolutionary War. Being a guy is what gave us the idea to dress up as Indians and have some fun throwing tea into the Boston Harbor.

3. Men have pride and guys have no shame.
- Throughout history we have seen that one of the outstanding character traits of men is their pride. It’s not necessarily bad pride. It’s pride like when you just invented something really cool or like you just won a war.
- Guys have no shame. Who do you think was the first streaker? Probably wasn’t a girl. Guys have been attributed to inventing extremely stupid stunts and sports. Stuff like bungee jumping, bridge jumping, cliff jumping, and the show "Jackass", in which all the members are not only guys , but retards as well.

3. Dirt, speed and a collision.
- One thing the whole male spectrum shares in common, at least most of it anyway, is the recipe for good entertainment. Which consists of dirt, speed and some kind of collision. Just look at football. Probably the most male dominated and watched sport in America. The players get dirty and we love it when that running back gets speed and runs down the field for a touchdown. And it’s even more fun to watch that running back get knocked down to the ground by a huge, hairy defensive lineman.
- Now even if your not too into sports, even if you are a geek like me. There is robot wars which is where you build a robot equipped with razors, lasers, grenade launchers, hammer, and various other weapons to DESTROY your opponent! Now that’s a guy’s game.

4. I hope you now have a better understanding of the differences between a guy and a man. Now go out there and be a guy or I'll hit you.