Casting Lots
Cast
JESUS, martyred King of the Jews.
Three ROMAN SOLDIERS: FLAVIUS, SEXTUS, and LONGINUS.
Props
- A chair
- A spear
- A pile of clothes
- Some dice
JESUS stands on the chair, stripped to his underwear, his arms held out in crucifixion pose. He has been there a while, and his head hangs low, muttering to himself.
Three ROMAN SOLDIERS kneel on the ground nearby, throwing DICE. Next to them lies a pile of CLOTHES.
FLAVIUS
Yes! First dibs! I claim his shirt.
LONGINUS
Really? I'd take the cloak.
Sextus elbows Longinus to keep quiet.
FLAVIUS
I think it's a magic shirt.
SEXTUS
Get out.
FLAVIUS
No, I hear he's supposed to be some kind of
laundry mage. Got stuff whiter than white.
Bet you don't even have to wash it.
SEXTUS
So he's a magical washerman? That doesn't
sound too bad. What's he up there for?
FLAVIUS
Politics, I bet. The bleacher's guild
elders couldn't be too happy.
LONGINUS
Shame. Listen, why don't we ask him?
The other two make noises of agreement. Longinus stands up, picks up his SPEAR, and walks over to Jesus.
LONGINUS
Hey, um, we were wondering about your shirt...
Jesus merely lolls his head a bit.
LONGINUS
Hello?
Longinus pokes Jesus in the side with his spear.
JESUS
Yeaaaaaaaah!
Longinus jumps back a step.
FLAVIUS
I think that was a "yeaaaaaas".
SEXTUS
What if he's messing with us?
FLAVIUS
Why would he do that?
LONGINUS
Well, we put him up there, I bet he's a little ticked.
FLAVIUS
Hm. (pause) Well, what if they're magic pants?